phoenix peer edit

phoenix peer edit - evidence to back your statement, making...

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Carlos Caceres Phoenix’s Peer Edit The paper was a very interesting read. I thought it had a pretty unique topic and it was interesting to read your opinions on it. Although interesting, I thought that your thesis could have gone further in development. Try to include the “so what?” part. Throughout the essay it seems you tend to lose focus and start talking about other things. Although the basic essay covers your thesis, there are several points where the point you are trying to make is lost in words. I think the best thing to do would be to be less wordy and more concise. There are several parts in the essay where you put out an idea but have no
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Unformatted text preview: evidence to back your statement, making it pointless. Another concern is page space. For the conclusion, I think you have a basic idea, but you need to develop it more. I think it would be best if you didn’t talk about “what if” about the story. What happened happened and making assumptions isn’t great, especially in your conclusion. As for spelling, although I may be wrong, I believe the name of the prophet is actually Tiresias. You don’t need to write your name, essay, and date on every paper. It takes up too much space and when you take that part out of every page, your paper will most likely be shorter than what is needed....
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This note was uploaded on 09/14/2009 for the course BIO biology taught by Professor Meighan during the Spring '09 term at Berkeley.

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