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Unformatted text preview: than simply the death but instead of developing this thought, you abruptly switch topics to Genesis and Merchants article. I would elaborate on this idea before switching to Genesis/Merchant, which would significantly smoothen the transition and flow. On pgs 3 and 4, you use great textual evidence. The only recommendation I would have is presenting some of the text in your own words or as a mixture (say the text in your own words and insert a few actually quoted words for emphasis). The text you chose fits very well with your argument, though. Your conclusion (pg 5) is also very, very strong, perhaps the strongest part of the paper. You pull everything together well. Overall, I would suggest just making the paragraph transitions a little smoother, which will make the whole paper more cohesive and effective. Very nice job, though! Ciao, Catherine Macan...
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This note was uploaded on 10/11/2009 for the course CHEM 3 taught by Professor Smith during the Spring '09 term at Aberystwyth University.
- Spring '09