Sample Revision Page for the Profile

Sample Revision Page for the Profile - Multiple times...

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Matthew Huston English 106 8:30 M W F Revision Page for the Profile One of the first revisions for my profile, a paper about the interview I had with a graduate student at the Birck Nanotechnology Center, was to change the title. My title for the original paper was “A Doctor and So Much More” and this title was too vague and did not even summarize the most important part of my paper. I changed my title to “Breaking the Stereotype” because I felt that this was a major point that I had made in my paper. This title also left a lot to be discovered in my paper, something that my last title did not do. My paper was just a little under the requirement so I decided to expand on a couple things throughout the profile; in the second and sixth paragraphs I added a sentences. The sentences that I have added put more character into a couple of the important points in my paper. Throughout the revision of my self-discovery essay, I found a large number of grammar and punctuation errors that needed to be changed.
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Unformatted text preview: Multiple times throughout the paper I had sentences that ran on for many lines. These sentences had more than one idea and sometimes even more than one subject. By adding commas, periods, and semi-colons in the appropriate places my sentences made a lot more sense. After these minor but significant changes, my paper was ready for portfolio. I found this paper very easy to write because all of the information was given to me by Josh. After revising, it seems that I rushed through the paper and made a lot of grammar and punctuation mistakes. I really thought the transitions in my paper flowed well from paragraph to paragraph. The conclusion of this paper really summed up the whole thing. It related back to the introduction and it was where I tied up a lot of loose ends. I think this is the strongest paper I have written this semester; I just wish I would had turned it in on time!...
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This essay was uploaded on 04/07/2008 for the course PHI 114 taught by Professor Faris during the Spring '08 term at Purdue.

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