PSYCH 243 Notes Ch 8

PSYCH 243 Notes Ch 8 - Love, Marriage, and Marriage...

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Love, Marriage, and Marriage Alternatives I. Love Vs Liking A. Hatfield’s Romantic and Companionate Distinction 1. Romantic Love. – strong feelings of attraction and affection for their partners, wanting to contribute to their partner’s happiness and personal growth, can be expressed as a eustress in a sexually passionate or irrational erotic attraction to the other person. 2. Companionate Love – the liking of the other person that was the reason for the long term relationship in the first place, friendlier and more stable than intense and unpredictable passionate love. Many relationships start out with passionate love, but this diminishes over the years, companionate love tends to remain the same. B. Lee’s Six Type Model of Love 1. Passionate – physically erotic love, intensely emotional and sexual, driven by initial physical attractiveness to get close or to have intercourse 2. Game Playing – games people play with payoffs that are advantageous to one person, may not be a real commitment, more frequent with males than females to have multiple loves at the same time 3. Friendship – mutuality of interpersonal factors that extend over a period of time 4. Logical – cognitive or practical, based similarly upon a social balance model approach for interpersonal relations, compatibility is important, such as similar background and beliefs 5. Possessive – stifling, consuming, tension filled love, need to be the center of attention and feel intense jealousy whenever their partners share with others 6. Selfless – referred to as agape’, highest form of human love, altruistic and based on an unselfish desire to nurture and care for the other person without much regard to personal gain (parents) C. Sternberg’s Triangular Model – (see TABLE 8.2 page 183) Passionate love is more significant in early phases of a long term relationship. It does not disappear in permanently bonded relationships like marriage. II. Marriage A. Reasons for Marrying 1. Love – 95% will marry at some point in their lives, but are waiting longer to get married. Most Americans claim that love is the only acceptable reason for marriage. Women marrying primarily for love reported greater satisfaction. 2. Companionship, Fulfillment, and Escape from Loneliness – mutual sharing of thoughts, feelings, interests, tasks, decision making, and personal growth. 3. Sexuality, Reproduction, and Child Rearing – sexual abstinence was widely expected in the past to prevent the spread of sexual transmitted diseases and to promote a cultural and ethnic purity. Effective rearing of children is more difficult for one parent to accomplish. 4. Economic Security – in the past women were not expected to be financially independent and marriage provided a way to ensure economic survival of the individual and the family. B. Choosing a Mate – (see TABLE 8.3 page 187 and TABLE 8.4 page 188)
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PSYCH 243 Notes Ch 8 - Love, Marriage, and Marriage...

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