PeerReviewLetterAssignment1 - Peer Review Letter Assignment...

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Peer Review Letter Assignment Michael Kjome Dear Xan Chaves After reading the second draft of your Civic Literacy Paper I thought that it had a strong foundation. The first paragraph is well written and gives an image or where you are. I liked the objects that you described because they give the image for where you are but I feel that more detail would be necessary to give a good vivid image. Describe what the fish look like, what colors you see, even if its not that important like the carpet or walls to give that extra detail. The portion about The second paragraph starts off odd with “There are rows of bookshelves on my right labeled “Adult Fiction”.” This throws me off and I feel that it would work well in the first paragraph. It works there since you are describing the place and then you move to your observations in the second, keeping these two separate gives a better read. Their second paragraph has a good look but needs to be rearranged and reworded. You need to elaborate on this. If you are going to point out something big like a study group then go into detail about what they are doing. Are they a big group? Do they have a private room? How do you know it’s free? I would like to see some observations about how you come to the conclusion that the class is free. Did you notice a sign? A suggestion about adding detail is instead of “each of them has a notebook in front…” to “they all had a variety of
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This note was uploaded on 12/09/2009 for the course WRTG 3020 taught by Professor Lyons,t during the Spring '08 term at Colorado.

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PeerReviewLetterAssignment1 - Peer Review Letter Assignment...

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