essay 2 revision sheet

essay 2 revision sheet - street names of where I found this...

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Cecilia Li Professor Powell ENRU 1100 5 February 2009 1. I changed the first sentence in paragraph 2 by giving the street names of the roads. I substituted the word “much” with “many” in the third sentence of that paragraph because I had a word choice issue. In the last sentence of this paragraph, I changed the transitional word “Because” to “And since” to make the sentence flow better. I referred to page 95 to make this change. I added the word “also” after the comma because I’m really giving another reason why this place is prone to this type of art. 2. The only rhetorical change I made to this essay is by giving the exact
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Unformatted text preview: street names of where I found this piece of art. The street names are “Mott and Mulberry Street”. I made this revision because giving the exact name of a place makes the essay more rhetorical because it is a real reason to believe in something. 3. I changed my whole third paragraph to make this essay flow more logically. The old third paragraph was still talking about this piece of art and why it was found in the neighborhood. Whereas, this new ending paragraph makes a general statement about art and its neighborhood....
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This note was uploaded on 02/08/2010 for the course ENRU 1100 taught by Professor Greenfield during the Spring '07 term at Fordham.

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