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exam2abnormalforup - Exam#2 General...

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Exam #2 General Notes/Definitions - Triangling : (love triangle) used in Structural Family Therapy; in any single two-person system, when there is stress applied, a third person is drawn in to detour the stress. Suppose you have a conflict with a coworker (let's call him Mike). Because the two of you can't reach an agreement, anxiety builds up. You decide to draw in a third coworker (let's call her Mary) to get her "on your side" and relieve your anxiety. You have created a triangle: you and Mary against Mike. - Fundamental Principle for Understanding People: people are not logical but psychological. If we allow ourselves to want something and we don’t get it, we feel Abandoned, Betrayed and Thrown Out. The more we expect, the more upset we are when the opposite party doesn’t perform. - Repetition compulsion : psychological phenomenon in which a person repeats a traumatic event or its circumstances over and over again positive aspect -> our unconscious wants to create an opportunity to solve an old problem solution (way to stop repetition compulsion) -> grieving the original loss of love - Defenses: mechanisms that try to protect us from being hurt. However, they fail in doing so b/c they defeat the purpose of getting close to someone else. - When people give up their defenses, they find much resentment and pain coming up. - Qualities of a Successful Therapist: gentle, understanding, accepting, genuine, warm, and empathetic; same qualities of loving people -can’t look at individual relationships in family, have to look at all relationships in the family system -“non-love” gives us more predictability than love -we defend against feelings by using other feelings. -power & domination = the opposite of love; can be used as an emotion to defend against love - the mystics say that awareness and love are the same mystery. -rule of thumb/key to understanding depression is…look for some loss of love (could regard failure, relationships, or loss of self regard)
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-We cut ourselves off from our capacity to love…when we don't take the risk of loving. -Loss of Love occurs when people fail you & sadness is passed onto you. It is not because you don't deserve love! -In order for love to be present, we must feel that we are understood. - A major part of why we don't get the love we want -> because we create a distance with other people (Defense) - Everyone undergoing therapy is resistant to the therapist. This resistance actually represents the resistance to opening up suppressed emotions. Therapy is required to overcome these resistances to feelings. Once this resistance is gone, therapy is over. -it is not sufficient to say that someone just has a brain dysfunction, biologically based w/ imbalances. Imbalances are not based on 100% truth -> How someone deals w/ a trauma solely depends on the quality of love they receive before , during , and after the trauma -by raising awareness on the impact you have on other people, a big difference can be made.
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exam2abnormalforup - Exam#2 General...

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