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All Play All Work - central theme of a story to this extent...

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Steven McCommon All Play, All Work by Max Weissler What Works: I got a sense of the exotic locations in the piece through your use of descriptive imagery. Your attention to detail put the reader into the setting of your story. Beginning and Ending were strong points Good attempt at a purely realistic story Suggestions: I didn’t quite grasp the purpose of the story other than loosely organized references to the importance of money and following your passions. Readers shouldn’t question the
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Unformatted text preview: central theme of a story to this extent. • Using adjectives like “cool” are ambiguous to the reader. Define cool or possibly use a different means of description • I felt you had a tendency to insert quotations that drew away from the stories progression. That type of reinforcement I feel belongs in essays more than fictional stories. • The middle dragged and I feel if the length was condensed this problem would be alleviated with ease....
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