Quencididos - I felt as if there were several times when...

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Steven McCommon Cienjuicious by Sebastian Ospina What Works: This story describes particularly realistic events in a surreal undertone. Your imagery is poetic flows well. Understood the ambiguity you put around the protagonist with his unique description of his surroundings. The source of tension propelled the action which invested my interest into the story Suggestions: You reiterate adjectives such as saying “The road was twisty and tricky.” This is just a small grammatical error that can be solved through more proofreading.
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Unformatted text preview: I felt as if there were several times when you should show instead of tell. The best way to do this is with character interactions and characterization through internal thought. The ending confused me and I felt as if you added too much ambiguity which fogged up the clarity of the plot. It is often advantageous to use concrete nouns more often than descriptive adjectives in order to relate directly to the reader....
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