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Chris Bachelder - My Son, There Exists Another World Alongside Our Own

Chris Bachelder - My Son, There Exists Another World Alongside Our Own

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iE;:r: al Lii iEi; iirgii-lii ii itl" Iil:itiiitiiii iii;?i;iiiiti E,ii= ii;ii?ia1*,';; ii!iliiiiiiiiiiii zli;!;;iiEi:j;:e;z O=z;i ;l€!;iEtgi
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. I ] R I \ B A C H L L I ) E R Son: One of che mysreries of putative adulrhood is why, when we have the wherewithal to bring our genitals inro almost constant contact with another's' we clo not. You are shy and weird, as I was. NIy guess is that you find yourself perpetu- ally alienated from the cooch. But you wili hear stofies-some sophomore no doubt allowed (invited, some say) a wrestler to inva.le her with a candy cane. In May, no Iess. A bearded ninth-grader in a neighboring district screwed an earth-science reacher in a musty supplies cioset, her dress, one imagines, shoved up around her pale hrps. [Ier mug shot in the local ,Merenger rs norhing much, but srill. \bu rvill begin to suspecr rhar rhere exiscs a paraliel universe-precisely identi- cal to ours but for the fact rhat its inhabitants engage in frequent, vigoror-rs, and rhriilinglv filthv congress, bounded onty by the human imagination, a dwindling lisr of taboc'rs, and certain very real physical limitations. You will susPect sex on public rransporr, sex beneath restallranttable. sex behind yonder rock. Stln, if my letter has a single ptlint, it is this: In such suspicion yta ttil/ beright. This world- 6h 6ow I rvish someol.liirad trrld me rhis as I am telling you now-tliis parallel rvorid is real anLl ir is cichly inhabired. Furthermore, and this is important, even a pigclrr-.-ocd irthmafic wrll, based on litcle else than dtrmb luck or the blind la'nvs of probability, espy the world's entrance. ir is closed to me now, my boy. I am fony-six tears old. I rl'as fnarried to your rnorher ftrr fourteen years.And while I fondly recell siurping Budweiser from her lovely belly burton in a Sarasota hotel roc.,m, mid-afternoon, this sr;rr of frolicsome spirir was, ultimately, unsustainable. Before your mother, the girls I dated were meek and misinformed. C)ne of them, having heard that sperm .ra'lzrz toward the female gamete, was convincedthac rhel'couid swim great di51x66s5-1.e.,:lcfoss t'edsheers and car seats.
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