english_monologue - The weirdest Part Was yet to Come So...

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The weirdest Part Was yet to Come So last week word on the street was that there was a grand opening for a hella nice club. So I decided to check it out. I use my fake I.D as I always do. It’s the I.D that I snatched from a cab driver a while back. I enter with a casual walk and go up to the bar. I turned my head and say “ Yo barkeep get me a vodka martini, shaken not stirred.” What the hell are you talking about, no I’m not to fucken young, now get me my drink or ill shove this tiny umbrella far up you ass. Just then this fine babe takes the stool next to me, you know the type of chick that when you see her all you can do is go “humanna” She talks in the sexy English accent and asks for a warm glass of milk. I’m thinking what the fuck, your in a bar lady not a knitting club. But unfortunately my sexual desires would not let this one go. I quickly shove my drink away and say. Excuse me, barkeeper, may I please have another bag of that delectable earl gray tea? The babe looks at me and I say wow ma’am, what pretty eyes you have. You have
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