project two draft revisions

Project two draft - Paxton 1 Camille Paxton Ms Weber ENC 1101 29 October 2009 Title Jeans are a basic item of clothing that we Who fragment format

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Unformatted text preview: Paxton 1 Camille Paxton Ms. Weber ENC 1101 29 October 2009 Title? Jeans are a basic item of clothing that we Who? fragment format Juxtaposed with? Okay, so what is your thesis? What is the argument? Why are these particular commercials important? Whose? Good This either needs a better transition sentence or needs to come before you discuss the first commercial. It feels a bit awkward here. First, remove second person. Or is the commercial advertising a return to innocence, an easier time when all that mattered was jumping into a lake versus financial crisis? Good! This sounds like a thesis statement. Structure your paper around this idea. wear almost every day, which has never changed. However the advertisement for Levi jeans has. In the 80's the jean commercials were innocent and portrayed the fun life. People dancing around, listening to popular music, and just having the standard mischievous teen life. Who? fragment format Juxtaposed with? Okay, so what is your thesis? What is the argument? Why are these particular commercials important? Whose? Good This either needs a better transition sentence or needs to come before you discuss the first commercial. It feels a bit awkward here. First, remove second person. Or is the commercial advertising a return to innocence, an easier time when all that mattered was jumping into a lake versus financial crisis? Good! This sounds like a thesis statement. Structure your paper around this idea. Guys and girls were in a large group where they couldn't Who? fragment format Juxtaposed with? Okay, so what is your thesis? What is the argument? Why are these particular commercials important? Whose? Good This either needs a better transition sentence or needs to come before you discuss the first commercial. It feels a bit awkward here. First, remove second person. Or is the commercial advertising a return to innocence, an easier time when all that mattered was jumping into a lake versus financial crisis? Good! This sounds like a thesis statement. Structure your paper around this idea. do anything too provocative towards each other. In contradiction to Who? fragment format Juxtaposed with? Okay, so what is your thesis? What is the argument? Why are these particular commercials important? Whose? Good This either needs a better transition sentence or needs to come before you discuss the first commercial. It feels a bit awkward here. First, remove second person. Or is the commercial advertising a return to innocence, an easier time when all that mattered was jumping into a lake versus financial crisis?...
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This note was uploaded on 06/02/2010 for the course ENC ENC 1102 taught by Professor Weber during the Spring '10 term at Tampa.

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Project two draft - Paxton 1 Camille Paxton Ms Weber ENC 1101 29 October 2009 Title Jeans are a basic item of clothing that we Who fragment format

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