men in love - How Men Fall In Love And For How Long This...

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Unformatted text preview: How Men Fall In Love And For How Long This seminar will make the following assertions: • men can only fall in love with a stranger • men fall in love after 4 months of daily interaction • men fall out of love 46 months after meeting a stranger Men In Love 2-Jan-10 2 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Men in love simultaneously feel three positive emotions when they see or hear the woman they love. positive emotion monogynistic love visual/audible pleasure affection trigger " The woman I love is happy." the sight or sound of women the sight or sound of familiar people purpose encourage men to support women encourage men to seek women encourage everyone to interact with kin Men In Love 2-Jan-10 3 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Men fall in love 4 months after meeting a woman and fall out of love 42 months later or 46 months after meeting her. very strong monogynistic love strong moderate 42 months weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 46 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 4 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 After 46 months, men continue to feel the weaker emotions of visual/audible pleasure and affection. very strong monogynistic love visual/audible pleasure strong affection moderate weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 46 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 5 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Men fall in love when one woman repeatedly triggers their visual/audible pleasure and affection for 4 months. very strong monogynistic love visual/audible pleasure strong affection moderate weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 46 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 6 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Visual/audible pleasure ensures that men only fall in love with women that are fertile and were not impregnated by another man before meeting. fertile visual/audible pleasure not impregnated by another man before meeting new affection not impregnated by another man since meeting Men In Love 2-Jan-10 7 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Visual/audible pleasure is triggered by the sight or sound of women. positive emotion monogynistic love visual/audible pleasure affection trigger " The woman I love is happy." the sight or sound of women the sight or sound of familiar people purpose encourage men to support women encourage men to seek women encourage everyone to interact with kin Men In Love 2-Jan-10 8 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Visual/audible pleasure is specifically triggered by features that fertile, non-pregnant women have and other humans do not. children men postmenopausal women fertile pregnant women fertile non-pregnant women Men In Love 2-Jan-10 9 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 The following are features that fertile, non-pregnant women have and other humans do not. hourglass figure protruding breasts plump lips wide hips slender appendages 8% shorter height feminine voice beardless face pubic hair non-grey hair narrow waist - combination of protruding breasts, wide hips, narrow waist - ideal hip-to-waist ratio is 0.7 - face, neck, arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, toes - 8% is ideal (about 5½" shorter than a 5'10" man) - pitch and resonance midway between men and children - beards evolved so men do not court men Men In Love 2-Jan-10 10 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 The more exclusive a feature is to fertile, non-pregnant women the stronger the visual/audible pleasure it triggers in men. postmenopausal women fertile pregnant women fertile non-pregnant women strength of effect strong moderate hourglass figure protruding breasts plump lips wide hips weak slender appendages 8% shorter height feminine voice beardless face very weak pubic hair non-grey hair narrow waist children men Men In Love 2-Jan-10 11 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 To fall in love, a man must feel strong visual/audible pleasure for 4 months. very strong monogynistic love visual/audible pleasure strong affection moderate weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 46 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 12 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Strong visual/audible pleasure can only be triggered by an hourglass figure, which confirms that a woman is fertile and non-pregnant. postmenopausal women fertile pregnant women fertile non-pregnant women strength of effect strong moderate hourglass figure protruding breasts plump lips wide hips weak slender appendages 8% shorter height feminine voice beardless face very weak pubic hair non-grey hair narrow waist children men Men In Love 2-Jan-10 13 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 4 months of strong visual pleasure confirms that a woman was not impregnated by another man just before meeting. very strong visual/audible pleasure triggered by non-pregnant woman strong moderate visual/audible pleasure triggered by woman impregnated just before meeting a man as she loses her hourglass figure weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 46 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 14 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 this is a tangent The visual/audible pleasure that a woman triggers in a man declines over time which encourages men to maximize the genetic diversity of their offspring. very strong visual/audible pleasure strong moderate weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 46 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 15 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 this is a tangent Over 8 years, the visual audible pleasure that Elizabeth Hurley triggered in Hugh Grant declined enough that . . . very strong strong visual/audible pleasure moderate weak 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 Men In Love 2-Jan-10 16 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 this is a tangent . . . that Divine Brown, a street prostitute, became relatively more attractive to Hugh. very strong strong visual/audible pleasure moderate weak 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 Men In Love 2-Jan-10 17 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 this is a tangent Women frequently change their appearance to try to slow the decline of visual/audible pleasure. very strong visual/audible pleasure strong change appearance frequently moderate change appearance rarely weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 46 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 18 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Affection ensures that men only fall in love with women that are new and have not been impregnated by another man since meeting. fertile visual/audible pleasure not impregnated by another man before meeting new affection not impregnated by another man since meeting Men In Love 2-Jan-10 19 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Affection is triggered by the sight or sound of familiar people. positive emotion monogynistic love visual/audible pleasure affection trigger " The woman I love is happy." the sight or sound of women the sight or sound of familiar people purpose encourage men to support women encourage men to seek women encourage everyone to interact with kin Men In Love 2-Jan-10 20 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 More specifically, affection is triggered by features that modern humans have and other primates do not. arboreal primates terrestrial primates small-brain humans modern humans Men In Love 2-Jan-10 21 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 The following are features that modern humans have, but other primates do not. singing, poetry, alliteration talking smiling eyebrows, white eyes, nose, philtra, lips, chin hands with long opposable thumbs walking bipedally feet without opposable toes bums without tails - logically sequenced acoustics from human voice - corners of mouth turned up, not showing teeth - everted lips - or dancing Men In Love 2-Jan-10 22 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 The more exclusive a feature is to modern humans the stronger the affection it triggers. strength of effect strong singing, poetry, alliteration talking smiling moderate eyebrows, white eyes, nose, philtra, lips, chin hands with long opposable thumbs walking bipedally weak feet without opposable toes bums without tails arboreal primates terrestrial primates small-brain humans modern humans Men In Love 2-Jan-10 23 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 this is a tangent The affection a feature triggers is stronger if there is proof of interaction. • singing to music • dancing to music • making eye contact Men In Love 2-Jan-10 24 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 this is a tangent While seeing white eyes triggers moderate affection . . . Men In Love 2-Jan-10 25 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 this is a tangent . . . making eye contact triggers stronger affection because it confirms interaction. Men In Love 2-Jan-10 26 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 The affection that someone triggers in you is weak when you meet them and then grows stronger the more time you spend with that person. very strong strong affection moderate (full-time interaction) affection weak (part-time interaction) 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting someone Men In Love 2-Jan-10 27 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 To make a man fall in love, a woman must trigger affection in the man that grows from weak-to-moderate strength in 4 months. very strong monogynistic love visual/audible pleasure strong affection moderate weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 46 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 28 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Only strangers or new women can start at weak affection. very strong affection (old flames, family, friends) strong affection moderate (new women) weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 29 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Restricting men to only fall in love with new women greatly increases the genetic diversity of their offspring. men fall in love with one woman for life woman A child 1 child 2 child 3 child 4 child 5 child 6 men only fall in love with new women woman A woman B woman C woman D woman E woman F child 1 child 2 child 3 child 4 child 5 child 6 Men In Love 2-Jan-10 30 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 New people can only trigger moderate affection by month 4 if they are interacting on a full-time basis. very strong strong affection moderate (full-time interaction) affection weak (part-time interaction) 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting someone Men In Love 2-Jan-10 31 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Restricting men to women who interact on full-time basis prevents men from falling in love with women who could have been simultaneously courting another man. very strong strong moderate affection (part-time with man 1) weak affection (part-time with man 2) 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting someone Men In Love 2-Jan-10 32 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Men fall out of love after 42 months or 46 months after meeting a woman. very strong monogynistic love visual/audible pleasure strong affection moderate weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 46 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 33 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Love encourages men to support women. positive emotion monogynistic love visual/audible pleasure affection trigger " The woman I love is happy." the sight or sound of women the sight or sound of familiar people purpose encourage men to support women encourage men to seek women encourage everyone to interact with kin Men In Love 2-Jan-10 34 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 By supporting women, men are indirectly supporting their children. women monogynistic love men maternal love children Men In Love 2-Jan-10 35 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Men maximize the number of two-parent children they have by starting the next child when the current child no longer needs full-time care. child no longer needs full-time care woman A woman B woman C woman D woman E woman F child 1 child 2 child 3 child 4 child 5 child 6 Men In Love 2-Jan-10 36 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Children no longer need full-time care when their first set of teeth have fully erupted at 33 months. • • before their first set of teeth fully erupt, children need assistance to eat mothers must first breastfeed, then transfer of masticated food to their children Men In Love 2-Jan-10 37 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Adding 9 months of gestation to 33 months of post-natal care equals a total support time of 42 months. very strong monogynistic love strong 9 months gestation 33 months post-natal support moderate 42 months total support time weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 46 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 38 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 There is ample evidence that men do not love one woman forever. • fireworks do not continue • the 50% divorce rate • affection keeps the other 50% together Men In Love 2-Jan-10 39 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Based on 2002 US Census Data, the average length of first marriages is 44 months. men average age at first divorce average age at first marriage average length of marriage average length of marriage average length of marriage 30.5 26.9 3.6 women 29.0 25.3 3.7 3.7 years 44 months Men In Love 2-Jan-10 40 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 Assuming 16 months of courtship and 44 months of marriage, couples typically divorce 14 months after the man falls out of love. very strong monogynistic love strong 16 months of courtship 44 months of marriage moderate 14 months to divorce weak 0 4 8 12 16 20 24 28 32 36 40 44 46 48 52 56 60 months since first meeting a woman Men In Love 2-Jan-10 41 copyright © Mark Devon 2009 ...
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This note was uploaded on 06/07/2010 for the course PSYCH 1000 taught by Professor Lassiter during the Spring '10 term at Harvard.

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