Chapter 5 - Chapter 5: Attraction and Mate Selection...

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Chapter 5: Attraction and Mate Selection Attraction: Why We Like Some People but Not Others 1. Personality : What Do We Like about Other People? a. We are attracted to people who possess positive traits and dislike people who possess negative traits. b. We appear to be more attracted to people who are good than people who are fun. c. The perfect person who spilled his drink received the highest ratings. d. Although we may admire people who possess wonderful qualities, we are even more attracted to people whose wonderful qualities are tempered by a few endearing flaws. 2. Similarity : Liking People Who Are Like Us a. Pratfall effect : We find people to be more attractive the more similar they are to ourselves. b. Phantom other technique: The findings hold true even when the other person is not a phantom. Randomly matched pairs of people who are left alone together report liking each other more to the extent that they have more things in common. c. Complementarily: we are instead attracted to people who possess qualities that we lack. i. A degree of situational complementarily may facilitate their interactions, but the basis of their attraction is still their similar tendencies rather than their complementary ones. d. Similar people are validating. e. People who are similar to us are easy to get along with. f. We expect that they are probably going to like us. g. Exception : When the other person was recovering from mental breakdown, the more the person shared valued with participants, the less participants like them. 3. Familiarity: Liking What We Know a. Mere exposure effect: The idea that simply being exposed to something can make that thing intrinsically reinforcing. b. Participants tended to choose the mirror image, the version of themselves they see in the mirror every morning. 4. Reciprocity : Liking People Who Like Us a. People reported more liking for their partners when they knew their partners had though well of them and far less liking for their partners when their partners had been critical. b. Not all liking is equally rewarding. The most liked person was the person in the last condition, the person whose opinions started out negative but who was gradually won over as the experimental interaction progressed.
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i. Someone who grows to like us over time may be harder to please. Romantic and Sexual Attraction: The Difference between “I Like You” and “I Really Like You”
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Chapter 5 - Chapter 5: Attraction and Mate Selection...

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