3-30 relational control - Relational Control I. Principles...

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Relational Control I. Principles of Control – relationships involve the battle of control. A. Least Interest – The more you care, the stupider you are. B. Alternatives – When you have more alternative you have more power. The more choices you have the more power. C. Resource Control – Whoever controls resources has the power. (ex. The one that is more highly educated in the relationship will have more power) D. Scarcity – When something is scarce we value it. Limited runs for Beanie Babies, etc. E. Rewards – The person that rewards us has power. You can get sucked in by caring too much. II. Characteristics A. Contracts – deals we make in our relationships…we don’t talk about them. 1. Implicit vs Explicit – research argues for discussion to avoid fights down the road. At some point successful couples spent time working out these contracts. Implicit – never talk about…assumed. Will get relationships in trouble. “I’ll do this, you do this” Explicit – contracts that we’ve discussed. The more explicit
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3-30 relational control - Relational Control I. Principles...

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