emotional intelligence - PART TWO THE N MURE F _ em EH TEL...

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Unformatted text preview: PART TWO THE N MURE F _ em EH TEL L EGEN E _ When Smort is Dumb Exactiy why David Pologruto, a high—school physics teacher, was stabbed with a kitchen knife by one of his star students is stili debatabie. But the facts as wideiy reported are these: Jason 1-1., a sophomore and straighteA student at a Coral Springs, Fiorida, high schooi, was fixated on getting into medical schooi. Not just any medical school—~he dreamt of Harvard. But Pologmto, his physics teacher, had given Jason an 80 on a quiz. Believing the grade—ma mere B-wput his dream. in jeopardy, jason took a butcher knife to school and, in a confrontation with Pologruto in the physics lab, stabbed his teacher in the coiiarbone before being subdued in a struggle. A judge found Jason innocent, temporarily insane during the incidentwa panel of four psychologists and psychiatrists swore he was psychotic during the fight. jason claimed he had been planning to commit suicide because of the test score, and had gone to Pologmto to tell him he was kiiling himself because of the bad grade. Pologruto toEd a different story: “I think he tried to completer do the in with the knife” because he was infuriated over the bad grade. After transferring to a private school, Jason graduated two years Eater at the top of his class. A perfect grade in regular classes would have given him a straight-A, 4.0 average, but jason had taken enough advanced courses to raise his grade—point average to 4‘614fiwav beyorid A+. Even as Jason graduated with highest honors7 his old physics teacher, David Pologruto, complained thatjason had never apologized or even taken responsibiiity for the attack.1 The question is, how couid someone of such obvious intelligence do something so irrationai—«so downright dumb? The answer: Academic 35 34 Tm: Names or EMOTIONAL lN”i'ELLIGENCE intelligence has little to do with emotional life. The brightest among us can founder on the shoals of unbridled passions and unruly impulses; people with high IQs can be stunningly poor pilots of their private lives. One of psychology’s open secrets is the relative inability of grades, IQ, or SAT scores, despite their popular mystique, to predict unerringly who will succeed in life. To be sure, there is a relationship between IQ and life circumstances for large groups as a whole: many people with very low IQs end up in menial gobs, and those with high IQs tend to become well—paide but by no means always. There are widespread exceptions to the rule that IQ predicts successe many (or more) exceptions than cases that fit the rule. At best, IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80 percent to other forces. As one observer notes, "The vast majority of one’s ultimate niche in society is determined by nonle factors, ranging from social class to luck.”3 Even Richard Herrnstet‘n and Charles Murray, whose book The Bell Crime imputes a primary importance to IQ, acknowledge this; as they point out, “Perhaps a freshman with an SAT math score of 500 had better not have his heart set on being a mathematician, but if instead he wants to run his own business, become a US. Senator or make a million dollars, he should not put aside his dreams. . . . The link between test scores and those achieve— ments is dwarfed by the totality of other characteristics that he brings to life.”3 My concern is with a key set of these “other characteristics,” emotional intelligence: abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of Frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one’s moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empa~ thize and to hope. Unlike IQ, with its nearly one—hundred—year history of research with hundreds of thousands of people, emotional intelligence is a new concept. No one can yet say exactly how much of the variability from person to person in life’s course it accounts for. But what data exist suggest it can be as powerful, and at times more powerful, than IQ. And while there are those who argue that 1Q cannot be changed much by experience or educa~ tion, I will show in Part Five that the crucial emotional competencies can indeed be learned and improved upon by children~—iic we bother to teach them. When Smart Is Dumb 35 €MOllOlidl ll‘llELllGéZl‘lCE fill!) D€SlllW i remember the fellow in my own class at Amherst College who had attained five perfect 800 scores on the SAT and other achievement tests he took before entering. De5pite his formidable intellectual abilities, he spent most of his time hanging out, staying up late, and missing classes by sleeping until noon. it took him almost ten years to finally get his degree. _ 1Q offers little to explain the different destinies of people with roughly equal promises, schooling, and opportunity. When ninetyifive Harvard stu— dents from the classes of the 1940sm~a time when people with a wider spread of IQ were at Ivy League schools than is presently the casewewei'e followed into middle age, the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower—scoring peers in terms of salary, productivity, or status in their field. Nor did they have the greatest life satisfaction, nor the most happiness with friendships, family, and romantic relationships.4 A similar follow—up in middle age was done with 450 boys, most sons of immigrants, two thirds from families on welfare, who grew up in Sorneiville, Massachusetts, at the time a “blighted slum” a few blocks from Harvard. A third had le below 90. But again IQ had little relationship to how well they had done at work or in the rest of their lives; for instance, 7 percent of men with IQs under 80 were unemployed for ten or more years, but so were 7 percent of men with IQs over 100. To be sure, there was a general link (as there always is) between IQ and socioeconomic level at age forty—seven. But childhood abilities such as being able to handle frustrations, control emoi tions, and get on with other people made the greater difference.S Consider also data from an ongoing study of eighty~one valedictorians and salutatorians from the 1981 class in Illinois high schools. All, of course, had the highest grade~point averages in their schools. But while they continued to achieve well in college, getting excellent grades, by their late twenties they had climbed to only average levels of success. Ten years after graduating from high school, only one in four were at the highest level of young people of comparable age in their chosen profession, and many were doing much less well. Karen Arnold, professor of education at Boston University, one of the researchers tracking the valedictorians, explains, “I think we’ve discovered the 'dutiful’epeople who know how to achieve in the system. But valedic- torians struggle as surely as we all do. To know that a person is a valedictorian is to know only that he or she is exceedingly good at achievement as 56 "Ft-is NATURE or EMUHONAL inruuroencs measured by grades, it tells you nothing about how they react to the vicissi~ tudes of life.”6 And that is the problem: academic intelligence offers virtually no prepara« tion for the turmoil—or opportunity—life’s vicissitudes bring. Yet even though a high IQ is no guarantee of prosperity, prestige, or happiness in life, our schools and our culture fixate on academic abilities, ignoring emotional intelligence, a set of traitsesome might call it characteruethat also matters immensely for our personal destiny. Emotional life is a domain that, as surely as math or reading, can be handled with greater or lesser skill, and requires its unique set of competencies. And how adept a person is at those is crucial to understanding why one person thrives in life while another, of equal intellect, dead—ends: emotional aptitude is a mermabr‘lity, determining how well we can use whatever other skills we have, including raw intellect. Of course, there are many paths to success in life, and many domains in which other aptitudes are rewarded. In our increasingly knowledge~hased society, technical skill is certainly one. There is a children’s joke: “What do you calla nerd fifteen years from now?” The answer: “Boss.” But even among “nerds” emotional intelligence offers an added edge in the workplace, as we shall see in Pan: Three. Much evidence testifies that people who are emo~ tionally adeptkwho know and manage their own feelings well, and who read and deal effectively with other people‘s feelings—are at an advantage in any domain of life, whether romance and intimate relationships or picking up the unspoken rules that govern success in organizational politics. People with wellwdeveloped emotional skills are also more likely to be content and effective in their lives, mastering the habits of mind that foster their own productivity; people who cannot. marshal some control over their emotional life fight inner battles that sabotage their ability for focused work and clear thought. fl DIFFERG‘H' lllllD OF lill€LLlG€NC€ To the casual observer, four-year—old judy might seem a wallflower among her more gregarious playmates. She hangs back from the action at playtime, staying on the margins of games rather than plunging into the center. But judy is actually a keen observer of the social politics of her preschool classroom, perhaps the most sophisticated of her playmates in her insights into the tides of feeiing within the others. Her sophistication is not apparent until _'Eudy’s teacher gathers the four— Wben Smart [5 Dumb 37 year—oids around to play what they call the Classroom Game. The Classroom Garnefia dollhouse replica ofjudy’s own preschooi classroom, with stick figures who have for heads small photos of the students and teachersiis a test of social perceptiveness. When judy’s teacher asks her to put each girl and boy in the part of the room they like to play in mostwthe art corner, the blocks corner, and so on—judy does so with complete accuracy. And when asked to put each boy and girl with the children they iike to play with most, judy shows she can match best friends for the entire class. judy's accuracy reveais that she has a perfect social map of her class, a level of perceptiveness exceptional for a four—yeareold. These are the skills that, in later life, might allow jucly to blossom into a star in any of the fields where “people skills” count, from sales and management to diplomacy. Thatjudy’s social brilliance was spotted at all, let alone this early, was due to her being a student at the Eliot~Pearson Preschool on the campus of Tufts University, where Project Spectrum, a curriculum that intentionally cultivates a variety of kinds of intelligence, was then being developed. Project Spec trum recognizes that the human repertoire of abilities goes far beyond the three R’s, the narrow band of worduandmnumber skills that schools trad]? tionally focus on. It acknowledges that capacities such as judy’s social per— ceptiveness are talents that an education can nurture rather than ignore or even frustrate. By encouraging children to develop a full range of the abilities that they will actually draw on to succeed, or use simply to be fulfilled in what they do, school becomes an education in life skills. The guiding visionary behind Project Spectrum is Howard Gardner, a psychologist at the Harvard School of Education7 “The time has come,” Gardner told me, “to broaden our notion of the spectrum of talents. The single most important contribution education can make to a child’s develop— ment is to help him toward a field where his talents best suit him, where he will be satisfied and competent. We’ve completely lost sight of that. Instead we subject everyone to an education where, il‘you succeed, you will be best suited to be a college professor. And we evaluate everyone along the way according to whether they meet that narrow standard of success. We should spend less time ranking children and more time helping them to identify their natural competencies and gifts, and cultivate those. There are hundreds anc hundreds of ways to succeed, and many, many different abilities that wil help you get there.”8 If anyone sees the limits of the old ways of thinking about intelligence, it it Gardner. He points out that the glory days of the HQ tests began during Work War I, when two million American men were sorted out through the first mass . 58 ’i‘HE NATURE or EMOTIONAL Inremosucs paper—andspencil form of the IQ test, freshly developed by Lewis Terman, a psychologist at Stanford. This led to decades of what Gardner calls the “IQ way of thinking”: “that people are either smart or not, are born that way, that there’s nothing much you can do about it, and that tests can tell you if you are one of the smart ones or not. The SAT test for college admissions is based on the same notion olia single kind of aptitude that determines your future. This way of thinking permeates society.” Gardner’s influential 1983 book Frames osz’nd was a manifesto refuting the IQ view; it prOposed that there was nor just one, monolithic kind of intelligence that was crucial for life success, but rather a wide spectrum of intelligences, with seven key varieties. liis list includes the two standard academic kinds, verbal and n'tathematical«logical alacrity, but it goes on to include the spatial capacity seen in, say, an outstanding artist or architect; the kinesthetic genius diSplayed in the physical fluidity and grace of a Martha Graham or Magic Johnson; and the musical gifts of a Mozart or YoYo Ma. Rounding out the list are two faces of what Gardner calls “the personal . intelligences”: interpersonal skills, like those of a great therapist such as Carl Rogers or a world—class leader such as Martin Luther King, 12:, and the “intrapsychic” capacity that could emerge, on the one hand, in the brilliant insights of Sigmund Freud, or, with less fanfare, in the inner contentment that arises from attuning one’s life to be in keeping with one’s true feelings. The operative word in this view of intelligences is multiple: Gardner’s model pushes way beyond the standa rri concept of 1Q as a single, immutable factor. it recognizes that the tests that t‘yrannized us as we went through schooliifrom the achievement tests that sorted us out into those who would be shunted toward technical schools and those destined for college, to the SAri's that determined what, if any, college we would be allowed to attend—u are based on a limited notion of intelligence, one out of touch with the true range of skills and abilities that matter for life over and beyond 1Q. Gardner acknowledges that seven is an arbitrary figure for the variety of intelligences; there is no magic number to the multiplicity of human talents. At one point, Gardner and his research colleagues had stretched these seven to a list of twenty different varieties of intelligence, Interpersonal intelligence, for example, broke down into four distinct abilities: leadership, the ability to nurture relationships and keep friends, the ability to resolve conflicts, and skill at the kind of social analysis that four—year—old fudy excels at. This multifaceted view of intelligence offers a richer picture of a child’s ability and potential for success than the standard IQ. When Spectrum stu— dents were evaluated on the Stanfordeinet Intelligence Scalewonce the ___ “"77. ._._.._aw_—_—i=-:1 Wise-n Smart Is Dumb 59 gold standard of IQ tests-wand again by a battery designed to measure Gardner’s spectrum of intelligences, there was no significant relationship between children’s scores on the two tests,9 The five children with the highest IQs (from .125 to 153) showed a variety of profiles on the ten strengths measured by the Spectrum test. For example, of the five “smartest” children according to the 1Q tests, one was strong in three areas, three had strengths in two areas, and one “smart” child had just one Spectrum strength. Those strengths were scattered; four of these children’s strengths were in music, two in the visual arts, one in social understanding, one in logic, two in language. None of the Five high—IQ kids were strong in movement, numbers, or Gardner’s conclusion was that “the Stanford—Binet intelligence Scale did not predict successful performance across or on a consistent subset ofSpeci trum activities.” On the other hand, the Spectrum scores give parents and teachers clear guidance about the realms that these children will take a spontaneous interest in, and where they will do well enough to develop the passions that could one day lead beyond proficiency to mastery. Gardner’s thinking about the multiplicity of intelligence continues to evolve. Sorne ten years after he first published his theory, Gardner gave these nutshell summaries of the personal intelligences: motivates them, how they work, how to work cooperatively with them. Successfui salespeople, politicians, teachers, clinicians, and religious leaders are all likely to be individuals with high degrees of interpersonal intelligence. Irzti'apersonal intelligence . . i is a correlative ability, turned inward. It is a capacity to form an accurate, veridicai model of oneself and to be able to use that model to operate effectively in life.10 In another rendering, Gardner noted that the core of interpersonal intel— ligence includes the “capacities to discern and respond appropriately to the moods, temperaments, motivations, and desires of other people.” In intra— personai intelligence, the key to self—knowledge, be included “access to one’s own feelings and the ability to discnminate among them and draw upon them to guide behavior”? 40 THE NATURE or EMO‘HONAL IN'retLtoencs SPOCK KlS. Dflel; WH€H COGlllllOl‘l l8 NOT ENOUGH There is one dimension of personal intelligence that is broadly pointed to, but little explOred, in Gardner’s eiaborations: the role of emotions. Perhaps this is so because, as Gardner suggested to me, his work is so strongly informed by a cognitive—science model of mind. Thus his view of these intelligences emphasizes cognition~~ihe understanding of oneself and of others in moi tives, in habits of working, and in putting that insight into use in conducting one’s own life and getting along with others. But like the kinesthetic realm, where physical brilliance manifests itself nonverbaily, the realm of the emo~ tions extends, too, beyond the reach of language and cognition. While there is ample room in Gardner’s descriptions of the personal intelligences for insight into the play of emotions and mastery in managing them, Gardner and those who work with him have not'pursued in great detail the role of feeling in these intelligences, focusing more on cognitions about feeling. This focus, perhaps unintentionally, leaves unexplored the rich sea of emotions that makes the inner life and relationships so complex, so compelling, and so often puzzling. And it leaves yet to be plumbed both the sense in which there is intelligence in the emotions and the sense in which intelligence can be brought to emotions. Gardner’s emphasis on the cognitive elements in the personal intelligences reflects the zeitgeist of psychology that has shaped his views. Psychology’s overemphasis on cognition even in the realm of emotion is, in part, due to a quirk in the history of that science. During the middle decades of this cen- tury academic psychology was dominated by behaviorists in the mold of B. Skinner, who felt that only behavior that could be seen objectiveiy, from the outside, could be studied with scientific accuracy. The behaviorists ruled all inner life, including emotions, out~of~bounds for science. "then, with the coming in the late 1960s of the “cognitive revolution,” the focus of psychological science turned to how the mind registers and stores information, and the nature of intelligence. But emotions were still off-limits. Conventional wisdom among cognitive scientists held that intelligence en— tails a cold, hard—nosed processing of fact. it is hyperrational, rather like Star Treks Mr. Spock, the archetype of dry information bytes unmuddied by feeling, embodying the idea that emotions have no place in intelligence and only muddle our picture of mental life. The cognitive scientists who embraced this view have been seduced by the computer as the operative model of mind, forgetting that, in reality, the brain’s wetware is awash in a messy, pulsating puddle of neurochemicals, When Smart [5 Dumb 41 nothing like the sanitized, orderiy silicon that has spawned the guiding metaphor for mind. The predominant models among cognitive scientists of how the mind processes information have lacked an acknowledgment that rationality is guided lay—wand can be swamped lijfeeling. The cognitive model is, in this regard, an impoverished view of the mind, one that fails to explain the Sturrn und Drang of feelings that brings flavor to the intellect. In order to persist in this view, cognitive scientists themselves have had to ignore the relevance for their models of mind of their personal lIOPES and fears, their marital squabbles and professional ieaiousieswthe wash of feel~ ing that gives life its flavor and its urgencies, and which in every moment biases exactly how (and how well or poorly) information is processed. The lOpsided scientific vision of an emotionally fiat mental life—which has guided the last eighty years of research on intelligence—is graduallychang ing as psychology has begun to recognize the essential role of feeling in thinking. Rather like the Spockish character Data in Starr Tree.- The Next Generation, psychology is coming to appreciate the power and virtues of emotions in mental life, as weil as their dangers. After all, as Data sees (to his own dismay, could he feel dismay), his cooi logic fails to bring the right human solution. Our humanity is most evident in our feelings; Data seeks to feel, knowing that something essential is missing. He wants friendship, loyalty; like the Tin Man in 7799 Wizard of Oz, he lacks a heart. lacking the lyrical sense that feeling brings, Data can play music or write poetry with technical virtuosity, but not feel its passion. The lesson of Data’s yearning for yearning itself is that the higher values of the human heart—faith, hope, devotion, love—are missing entirely from the coldly cognitive view. Emo— tions enrich; a model of mind that leaves them out is impoverished. When i asked Gardner about his emphasis on thoughts about feelings, or metacognition, more than on emotions themselves, he acknowledged that he tended to view intelligence in a cognitive way, but told me, “When i first wrote about the personal intelligences, 1 was talking about emotion, espee cially in my notion of intrapersonal intelligence—one component is emo- tionally tuning in to yourself. it’s the viscerahfeeling signals you get that are essential for interpersonal intelligence. But as it has developed in practice, the theory of multiple intelligence has evolved to focus more on meta— cognition”——that is, awareness of one’s mental processes—“rather than on the full range of emotional abilities.” Even so, Gardner appreciates how crucial these emotional and relation ship abilities are in the roughnand—tumble of life. He points out that "many people with iQs of 160 work for people with iQs of 100, if the former have 42 THE NATURE or EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE poor intrapersonal intelligence and the latter have a high one. And in the day— to-day world no intelligence is more important than the interpersonal, If you don’t have it, you’ll make poor choices about who to marry, what job to take, and so on. We need to train children in the personal intelligences in school.” Cr’ll‘l ENOTFOHS B6 li‘ll€LllG€l‘lT? To get a fuller understanding ofjust what such training might be like, we must turn to other theorists who are following Gardner’s intellectual leadm-most notably a Yale psychologist, Peter Salovey, who has mapped in great detail the ways in which we can bring intelligence to our emotions. ‘2 This endeavor is not new; over the years even the most ardent theorists of IQ have occa— sionaliy tried to bring emotions within the domain of intelligence, rather than seeing “emotion” and “intelligence” as an inherent contradiction in terms. Thus E. L. Thorndike, an eminent psychologist who was also influential in popularizing the notion of 1Q in the 19205 and 19505, proposed in a Harper’s Magazine article that one aspect of emotional intelligence, “social” intelligenceethe ability to understand others and “act wisely in human relations’hewas itself an aspect of a person’s IQ. Other psychologists of the time took a more cynical view of social intelligence, seeing it in terms of skilis for manipulating other people—“getting them to do what you want, whether they want to or not. But neither of these formulations of social intelligence held much sway with theorists of IQ, and by 1960 an influential textbook on intelligence tests pronounced social intelligence a “useless” concept. But personal intelligence would not be ignored, mainly because it makes both intuitive and common sense. For example, when Robert Sternberg, another Yale psychologist, asked people to describe an “intelligent person,” practical people skills were among the main traits listed. More systematic research. by Sternberg led him back to 'l‘horndike’s conclusion: that social intelligence is both distinct from academic abilities and a key part: of what makes people do well in the practicalities of life. Among the practical intel~ iigences that are, for instance, so highly valued in the workplace is the kind of sensitivity that allows effective managers to pick up tacit messages.13 In recent years a growing group of psychoiogists has come to similar conclusions, agreeing with Gardner that the old concepts of IQ revolved around a narrow band of linguistic arid math skills, and that doing well on IQ tests was most directly a predictor of success in the classroom or as a professor but less and less so as life’s paths diverged from academe. These When Smart Is Dumb 45 psychologistsmSterriberg and Salovey among themehave taken a wider view of intelligence, trying to reinvent it in terms of what it takes to lead life successfully. And that line of enquiry leads back to an appreciation of just how crucial “personal” or emotional intelligence is. Salovey subsumes Gardner’s personal intelligences in his basic definition of emotional intelligence, expanding these abilities into five main domains: 1‘ 1. Knowing one’s emotions. Seli1awarenessfl-recognizing a feeling as it bappens—is the keystone of emotional intelligence. As we will see in Chapter 4, the ability to monitor feelings from moment to moment is crucial to psychological insight and self~understanding An inability to notice our true feelings leaves us at their mercy. People with greater certainty about their feelings are better pilots of their lives, having a smarter sense of how they really feel about personal decisions from whom to marry to what job to talre. 2. Managing emotions. Handling feelings so they are appropriate is an ability that builds on selfawareness. Chapter 5 will examine. the capacity to soothe oneself, to shake off rampant anxiety, gloom, or irritability and the consequences of failure at this basic emotional skill. People who are poor in this ability are constantly battling feelings of distress, while those who excel in it can bounce back far more quickly from life’s setbacks and upsets. 3. Motivating oneself As Chapter 6 will show, niarshaling emotions in the service of a goal is essential for paying attention, for self—motivation and mastery, and for creativity. Emotional self-control——-delaying gratification and stilling inipttlsivenesSMeunderlies accomplishment of every son. And being able to get into the “flow” state enables outstanding performance of all kinds. People who have this skill tend to be more highly productive and effective in whatever they undertake. 4. Recognizing emotions in others, Empathy, another ability that builds on emotional selflawareness, is the fundamental “people skill,” Chapter '7 will investigate the roots of empathy, the social cost of being emotionally tone- deaf, and the reasons empathy kindles altruism. People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle sociai signals that indicate what others need or want. This makes them better at caliings such as the caring professions, teaching, sales, and management. 5. Handling relationships. The art of relationships is, in large part, skill in managing emotions in others. Chapter 8 looks at social competence and incompetence, and the specific skills involved. These are the abilities that undergird popularity, leadership, and interpersonal effectiveness. People 44 THE NATURE or EMOTIONAL iNrErtIGENCE who excel in these skills do well at anything that relies on interacting smoothly with others; they are social stars. Of course, people differ in their abilities in each of these domains; some of us may be quite adept at handling, say, our own anxiety, but relatively inept at soothing someone else’s upsets. The underlying basis for our level of ability is, no doubt, neural, but as we will see, the brain is remarkably plastic, constantly learning. Lapses .in emotional skills can be remedied: to a great extent. each of these domains represents a body of habit and response that, with the right effon, can be improved on. lQ fll‘lD ENOUGH/ii lhl€LlEG€NC€ PURE WPEZS IQ and emotional intelligence are not opposing competencies, but rather separate ones. We all mix intellect and emotional acuity, people with a high lQ but low emotional intelligence (or low {Q and high emotional intel~ ligence) are, despite the stereotypes, relatively rare. indeed, there is a slight correlation between HQ and. some aspects of emotional intelligence ~though small enough to make clear these are largely independent entities. Unlike the familiar tests for IQ, there is, as yet, no single paperwand~pencil test that yields an “emotional intelligence score" and there may never be one. Although there is ample research on each of its components, some of them, such as empathy, are best tested by sampling a person’s actual ability at the taslr~—for example, by having them read a person’s feelings from a video of their facial expressions. Still, using a measure for what he calls “ego re— silience” which is quite similar to emotional intelligence (it includes the main social and emotional competences), jack Block, a psychologist at the Univer— sity of California at Berkeley, has made a comparison of two theoretical pure types: people high in IQ versus people high in emotional aptitudes.15 The differences are telling. The highiIQ pure type (that is, setting aside emotional intelligence) is almost a caricature of the intellectual, adept in the realm of mind but inept in the personal world. The profiles differ slightly for men and women. The high— IQ male is typifiedmno surprise-why a wide range of intellectual interests and abilities. He is ambitious and productive, predictable and dogged, and untrouhled by concerns about himself. He also tends to be critical and condescending, fastidious and inhibited, uneasy with sexuality and sensual experience, unexpressive and detached, and emotionally bland and cold. When Smart [5 Dumb 45 By contrast, men who are high in emotional intelligence are socially poised, outgoing and cheerful, not prone to fearfuiness or worried ruminai tion. They have a notable capacity for commitment to people or causes, for taking responsibility, and for having an ethical outlook; they are sympathetic and caring in their relationships. Their emotional life is rich, but appropriate; they are comfortable with themselves, others, and the social universe they live in. Purely high—{Q women have the expected intellectual confidence, are fluent in expressing their thoughts, value intellectual matters, and have a wide range of intellectual and aesthetic interests. They also tend to be intrOSpective, prone to anxiety, rumination, and guilt, and hesitate to express their anger openly (though they do so indirectly}, Emotionally intelligent women, by contrast, tend to be assertive and ex— press their feelings directly, and to feel positive about themselves, life holds meaning for them. Like the men, they are outgoing and gregarious, and express their feelings appropriately (rather than, say, in outbursts they later regret); they adapt well to stress. Their social poise lets them easily reach out to new people, they are comfortable enough with themselves to be playful, spontaneous, and open to sensual experience. Unlike the women purely high in 1Q, they rarely feel anxious or guilty, or sink into rumination. These portraits, of course, are extremes—all of us mix IQ and emotional intelligence in varying degrees. But they offer an instructive loOk at what each of these dimensions adds separately to a person’s qualities. To the degree a person has both cognitive and emotional intelligence, these pictures merger Still, of the two, emotional intelligence adds far more of the qualities that make us more fully human. ...
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