Chelsea Handler - I was twelve years old when I got my...

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Unformatted text preview: I was twelve years old when I got my boobs. They came one May and luckily for me and all the men whove felt me up since then they were full C-cups. I knew then that it was time for them to start helping me make ends meet. I was too young to work legally so I only had two realistic options. I could start an underground babysitting ring, or I could become a prostitute. Although I had developed a serious crush on our plumber that year, I wasnt sure I was ready for penetration. I had seen my first penis on a porno I had stolen from my brother and I was flabbergasted. While I had heard plenty about the size and shape of the penis, no one had warned me that there would be balls attached! Not to mention that there would be two of them, that they would be covered in hair, and that later in life they would most likely end up smacking you in the face. I was really glad I got the heads up when I did because it gave me plenty of time to shop for the perfect sized chin-guard. I opted for the babysitting ring and decided I would be sixteen. One day I got a call from a woman named Susan, she had two sons. My oldest is fourteen and my youngest is seventy-two months While I sat trying to figure out what seventy-two months added up to I decided to focus on the bigger issue at hand, Fourteen? who hires a babysitter for a fourteen year old? I wondered if he was retarded. Is he retarded? No, hes not retarded, hes just a little hyper but hes a good boy. Its more to have someone in charge of my youngest, Kyle Uh-huh...well I charge ten bucks an hour for two kids She said that sounded reasonable and we set a time for the next evening....
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This note was uploaded on 09/08/2010 for the course TA 131 at San Jose State University .

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Chelsea Handler - I was twelve years old when I got my...

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