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Poorly_Written_Neutral_Email - will stop on Monday to allow...

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Directions: Read this rough draft of an email your colleague plans to send later this week. Identify its strengths and weaknesses. Then re-write the message to help it be more effective. Don’t forget the subject line! Subject : Get Ready! We are hoping to be back at work soon, with everything running smoothly, same production schedule and no late projects or missed deadlines. So you need to clean out your desk, put your stuff in boxes, and clean off the walls. You can put the items you had up on your walls in boxes, also. We have provided boxes. The move will happen this weekend. We’ll be in our new offices when you arrive on Monday. We will not be responsible for personal belongings during the move. David Burke From: David Burke, Project Manager To: Student Advisers Subject: Student Advisers will be moving Friday the 17th, to Room 212. This week our department will be moving to Room 212 on the second floor as renovations are performed on the first floor of of the building. Work flow will continue until Friday and
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Unformatted text preview: will stop on Monday to allow time for unpacking. • Boxes will be provided in the break room, all filled boxes will be placed along the walls of the break room and movers will place them in new room over the weekend. • Please clean your desk/area and pack items on cubical walls. They can be put up in new areas. • Personal items must be taken home. • Separate supplies from files. • Boxes must be labeled with the following: o Department name o Your name o Equipment inside. • Computers will be the last to go, be aware that non essential computers will be moved during the week. Again, work will be put on hold on Monday but will slowly go back to normal depending on the speed of the unpacking process. I understand that there will be some confusion, if you have any problems please contact me and I will address your concerns. Sincerely, David Burke...
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