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Unformatted text preview: Theodore Hanson 1/19/10 French R1A Steroid Stupidity As the sun rises over the eastern hills, the brisk summer morning screams baseball to many fervent fans. Enthusiasts spend countless hours patiently preparing and anticipating a new season of success. Arriving hours before the game, grilling and gorging themselves before a night of excitement and intensity, they define the exuberant essence of baseball. Recently, fans have dishearteningly dared to disregard the game for solitary select scandals Overdid the alliteration a bit. I kind of want to try to be creative in an argumentative essay, and this was just the wrong way to do so+ Many players get an asterisk next to their names in the record books admitting that they took steroids. Im trying to prove that multiple other concurrent events could have affected their success as much as Colloquialism: not a good sentence because it states a general fact that is useless and overly general Transition: You should transition from one paragraph to another to allow a fluid structure for your reader to be transported from one paragraph to another. Became a run on sentence so I split it up into two parts tohelp make my paragraphs point clearer. I agree it was more than theatrics Wrong Word: Im pretty sure I was just tired and was thinking of computer science Re-word: I made a complex sentence which was horribly convoluted so I fixed it to express my idea Wrong word: Almost a colloquialism Now it is necessary since I removed the previous sentence I agree that its still questionable, because steroids do help, but even with this questionability in our minds I believe they deserve it. including but not limited to performance enhancing drugs. Many legendary records in baseball today have been blemished by the sickening asterisk Overdid the alliteration a bit. I kind of want to try to be creative in an argumentative essay, and this was just the wrong way to do so+ Many players get an asterisk next to their names in the record books admitting that they took steroids. Im trying to prove that multiple other concurrent events could have affected their success as much as Colloquialism: not a good sentence because it states a general fact that is useless and overly general Transition: You should transition from one paragraph to another to allow a fluid structure for your reader to be transported from one paragraph to another. Became a run on sentence so I split it up into two parts tohelp make my paragraphs point clearer. I agree it was more than theatrics Wrong Word: Im pretty sure I was just tired and was thinking of computer science Re-word: I made a complex sentence which was horribly convoluted so I fixed it to express my idea Wrong word: Almost a colloquialism Now it is necessary since I removed the previous sentence I agree that its still questionable, because steroids do help, but even with this questionability in our minds I believe they deserve it. of steroids, but there exists more than drugs which has fostered these incredible accomplishmentsOverdid...
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This note was uploaded on 09/25/2010 for the course ANTHRO 02303 taught by Professor Deacon during the Spring '09 term at University of California, Berkeley.

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lettertoeditor - Theodore Hanson 1/19/10 French R1A Steroid...

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