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Unformatted text preview: meant. This would help with the analysis and it would tell me what she is saying is actually doing. In the next paragraph is what I would like to see in the first paragraph of the page. You make a strong sub claim and you break it down well enough for me to understand. Your paper had good support and you broke it down well but I personally did not like how you ended it. You got away from the analysis of the song and started to talk about the issue of same sex marriage, which takes me away from your point. I feel your paper would be more effective if you would end if with something about your claim. This would help hit back the your point and hopefully make me believe what youre saying....
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- Fall '10