David DeAngelo - Mailbag - Excuse me, did you just grab my a

David DeAngelo - Mailbag - Excuse me, did you just grab my...

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12/06/2001 ***QUESTION*** "I must say that I am having the time of my life using your fine techniques David. I have never gotten a response like this from girls before. It's like you said when one creates that edge of your seat tension; it's like magic cause you know they're going crazy inside. But here comes my question: is it normal for me to feel tension too? You see, when I leave them with that hard to get vibe, I feel tempted to see more of them (as do they), but I don't want to drop the ball. So is there anything I could do to not feel that tension?" >MY COMMENTS: This is a really interesting question to me. My question for you is this: Do you enjoy it or not? I personally enjoy the "not knowing" that goes along with a brand new encounter (or series of encounters). I think that it kind of adds to the spice of life. I mean, how fun would life be if you knew how everything was going to turn out? To answer your question directly, the thing you can do to not feel the tension is to MAKE IT NOT MATTER. Think about ways to think of a woman that cause her to not matter, and you won't feel a preference for the outcome to go one way or another. .. and you won't feel any tension associated with not knowing. But is that any fun? Now I'm starting to sound like an amateur philosopher. But aren't we all amateur philosophers on some level? (lol. .. couldn't resist that one!) ***QUESTION*** "I read your e-book and I totally agree on the thing about drama and how women love it. My question is how should I act when a girl is performing these drama scenes? Should I tease her? How do I avoid hurting their feelings and getting rejected? Love your stuff. .. keep up the good work. Could you recommend some exercises on how to develop the "Cocky and Funny" attitude? Thanks, M." >MY COMMENTS: OK, here's the deal. .. I always like to put women getting upset in my presence into this perspective: "Awww, isn't she cute getting all upset like that?" If this only causes her to escalate, then I'll say something like "Wow, you've really got this getting upset thing down. Does it usually work to get other people to get upset with you and do what you want them to do? Because I'm just not into that much drama in my life. .." The idea is to communicate clearly that you are not in the least bit interested in taking part in the drama with her. The idea of saying something like "You know, you're kind of cute when you're mad" or laughing in a charmed way works like MAGIC to diffuse a dramatic situation while at the same time keeping you in control of it. As far as developing the attitude, do yourself a favor, and take out a piece of paper and a pen, and write down ten common situations, then how you could act cocky and funny. For instance, let's say we're talking about being at a bar. .. One common situation that happens at bars is bumping into people (I mean physically bumping into them, as bars are often crowded). What could you say that is cocky and funny when you bump into a girl? "Excuse me,
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This note was uploaded on 10/05/2010 for the course PSYC 201 taught by Professor Daviddeangelo during the Spring '10 term at American.

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David DeAngelo - Mailbag - Excuse me, did you just grab my...

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