David DeAngelo - Mailbag - How To Get HER To Buy The Dinner.

David DeAngelo - Mailbag - How To Get HER To Buy The...

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03/07/2002 ***QUESTION*** "David, What happens when two people meet who BOTH have a great grasp of your theories? A standoff? Dueling cockiness? If neither is willing to give up power, will there EVER be a point at which they let some guard down and start to really communicate? You teach us to avoid getting into personal details. ..if one of us isn't interested, fine, but if that never happens, how can there ever be any reality? OK, so I like her, and grow to love her, and finally ask her to marry me, all the time being cocky and funny in order to maintain her attraction. She may say no becuase I haven't allowed her to get to really know me. I don't want a standoff. Someday I want a wife." MY COMMENTS: Let me give you a little hint. .. If you do find such an amazing woman, and she sticks around long enough to be marriage material, then you're going to KNOW whether or not she'll accept your proposal. You're talking about the above as if it's not desirable. .. on the contrary, women like the one you're describing, who can create as much chemistry as you can. .. who can keep stepping up and staying interesting. .. who have a grasp of the theories are the MOST FUN. .. You're turning what is probably a wonderful potential situation into a mental drag. Get over it, and realize that if you find such a great woman, you'll both realize when it's time to come clean and "let the guard down." But PLEASE never confuse "letting your guard down" with TURNING INTO A GIRLY- MAN. If she's attracted to it at the beginning, chances are she'll be attracted to it 20 years from now. Moral: Don't let your failure fantasies prevent you from doing what you know is best. ***QUESTION*** "I don't get it Dave, Are you saying that i should never buy a woman a gift or dinners, so that she doesn't think of me as a "WUSS"? MY COMMENTS: No, I'm saying you should never ACT LIKE A WUSS so she doesn't think of you as a wuss. Big difference. I have more than one friend that likes to take women out to dinners. .. and they are very successful with women. But you must understand that they are SO AWESOME when it comes to being attractive to women that IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT THEY BUY DINNER. Most guys buy dinner because they DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO, and they think they need to pay to have a woman's attention. .. that they need to use a bribe. Big wuss behavior, if you know what I mean. Rule of thumb: If you find yourself surrounded by women who won't leave you alone, and you just don't have time to see all of them, then you'll know that it's OK to take a woman out to dinner when you first meet her. On the other hand, if you don't know what you're doing with women, then chill on the dinner and gift program. It isn't helping. [By the way, the two friends I was thinking of when I made the above comments will be at my seminar in May. .. along with several others.] ***QUESTION*** "Hi David, I really enjoyed your last newsletter on where to take your dates without paying big bucks. Your suggestions where great.
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This note was uploaded on 10/05/2010 for the course PSYC 201 taught by Professor Daviddeangelo during the Spring '10 term at American.

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David DeAngelo - Mailbag - How To Get HER To Buy The...

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