***QUESTION*** "Dave -- Hey, your advice works wonders! It is amazing how much it works. I
tried it on this girl I hardly knew, and we hit it off real well. In fact, we hooked up, and that was pretty
cool. I need advice, though. The girl and I started to really hit it off, and we became closer everyday.
Then, we started talking, and it seemed as though we were over, and I was devastated. She's really cool
and REALLY hot. We kept talking, and she ends up telling me that she needs to know herself before
she knows me, so she asks for time, and that I be her friend in that time. My question: how do I keep
her falling head over heels for me while I give her the time, and that she doesn't become another
friend. Again, thanks for the great advice."
>MY COMMENTS: OK, let me do a little translation for
.. If a woman says "I need time to get to know myself" or "I need to find myself" or any variation
of this common theme, it usually means: "YOU WERE ACTING LIKE A WUSS, BEING CLINGY,
AND GENERALLY NOT A CHALLENGE ANYMORE. I WANT YOU TO LEAVE,BUT I DON'T
WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS, SO I'M GOING TO TELL YOU THAT I NEED TIME TO
"FIND MYSELF" TO GET YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE WITHOUT A HASSLE." I'm harsh, aren't
I? Well, here's the deal. In general, if you become too predictable, too involved, too needy, too wuss-
ish, and too "head over heels" too early in the relationship, it will drive a woman away. Think about it
this way: The REALLY attractive women have guys chasing them FAR more than the average/below
average women. You need to do something DIFFERENT, while at the same time being
ATTRACTIVE. Probably the best thing you can do when you finally meet a really great girl is call her
HALF as much as you normally would, and give her twice the space. Think about it.
***COMMENT*** "I just got back from eating with a woman I started dating 3 weeks ago. Somehow
we got on the topic of what she likes in a man and what is the quickest time she has ever jumped in the
sack with one. She stated that she met a guy one night and slept with him the next. She said that she
did it only once in her life and then gave me the reason why she did that time. She stated that all the
guys she dated before him would always say something on the wild side, that she was really interested
in doing, but would back down and say, "oh, I was just kidding" when she looks at them to see if they
were serious. She said that this guy she slept with the next night and I are the only two men that have
ever said something cocky and funny and not flinched when she looked on in disbelief. In fact, I would
look at her and repeat things I said whenever she looked at me with that "I can't believe you just said
that to me," stare. She tells me it is such a turn-on. I had only begun to do this after subscribing to your
websight newsletter about a month or two ago.
.. I would just like to thank you for the advice and tell
the other guys to stick by what they say, no matter how off the wall it may sound. B."