Readings 6-18-08 - What does the essay not do well? Use of...

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Sam Keath Critique of “My Special Place” What does the essay do well? When I read this essay, I got the impression that the writer was a visually oriented person. Most of the adjectives that she uses to describe things are visual such as reddish, moon and stars, big, “seeing all the kids laugh at me.” Its visually descriptive, and uses metaphors to make it come to life. I especially like the part where she humanized the sun in the fourth paragraph - “It was sleeping time for the sun, so the moon and stars replaced it in the sky.” She made it seem like the sun was behaving like a human being would. That’s the sentence that really stood out and stuck in my mind. The conclusion was good because it talks about how she transformed from an urban girl to a rural girl.
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Unformatted text preview: What does the essay not do well? Use of pronouns, not really specific, who is she referring to? Who is we? She didnt explain what kind of business her father had, how long he had it, and why did it fail. Could be more descriptive by using more adjectives, more colors, smells, touch, hearing. She should use more auditory adjectives. How did the Saigon sound in comparison to rural Bien Hoa. I believe this writer was more of a visual type of person, but it could be better if it included the sound as well. Suggestion for improvement Forgot to include her mother and other family members. Did she have brothers and sisters? How did they react to the transition from an urban to a rural lifestyle?...
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Readings 6-18-08 - What does the essay not do well? Use of...

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