This preview shows pages 1–2. Sign up to view the full content.
This preview has intentionally blurred sections. Sign up to view the full version.View Full Document
Unformatted text preview: What does the essay not do well? Use of pronouns, not really specific, who is she referring to? Who is we? She didnt explain what kind of business her father had, how long he had it, and why did it fail. Could be more descriptive by using more adjectives, more colors, smells, touch, hearing. She should use more auditory adjectives. How did the Saigon sound in comparison to rural Bien Hoa. I believe this writer was more of a visual type of person, but it could be better if it included the sound as well. Suggestion for improvement Forgot to include her mother and other family members. Did she have brothers and sisters? How did they react to the transition from an urban to a rural lifestyle?...
View Full Document
- Spring '10