Bobby's Essay Edited-1

Bobby's Essay Edited-1 - Suzan-Lori Parks obsession with...

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Unformatted text preview: Suzan-Lori Parks obsession with language and her belief that wWords are spells (Parks 11) are reflected in her writings, in both her style and diction. Using structureWhat kind of structure? Be more specific. Parallelism. Words =/= singular meaning. Also, awkward. Rephrase. What? Are you talking about Parks ability here? This doesnt seem to fit as an elaboration of the previous sentence. Word choice Replace this with what youre referring to. Periods, commas and such go inside the quotation marks. What? This doesnt make any sense. Formal essays suggests that you use the word-form of numbers. Parallelism. Quotes for each gesture Periods go after the citation I dont know what this means. You really need to proofread before handing anything in to avoid these mistakes. Explain what this means, when you mention, not afterwards. How is this related to the previous sentence? You seem to have jumped topics. You go from talking about Lucy being a confidence to The Digger. Reword Word choice Where is your citation Word choice. Reword. When you are doing quotes, do not force it to make sense. The last sentence A momentous journey makes this bad. What is this Who is them? Ambiguous at this point. Take out commas to determine what is the subject. In this case out west is referred to as a singular thing. Word choice What? I t is almost as if they are in different realms? Take this out and make it parallel. Lucy believes The Digger [verb] parallelism Throughout this essay you keep saying possibly, perhaps, etc. This is your own opinion as a paper. Have more conviction and be persuasive about what you believe in, not indecisive. Reword for clarity. change their affection Every single thing that doesnt mean what it means needs to be in quotes. Reword , she crafts words into something much more than just a singularWhat kind of structure? Be more specific. Parallelism. Words =/= singular meaning. Also, awkward. Rephrase. What? Are you talking about Parks ability here? This doesnt seem to fit as an elaboration of the previous sentence. Word choice Replace this with what youre referring to. Periods, commas and such go inside the quotation marks. What? This doesnt make any sense. Formal essays suggests that you use the word-form of numbers. Parallelism. Quotes for each gesture Periods go after the citation I dont know what this means. You really need to proofread before handing anything in to avoid these mistakes. Explain what this means, when you mention, not afterwards. How is this related to the previous sentence? You seem to have jumped topics. You go from talking about Lucy being a confidence to The Digger....
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This document was uploaded on 11/16/2010.

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Bobby's Essay Edited-1 - Suzan-Lori Parks obsession with...

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