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Unformatted text preview: M usic and its In f luence on 20th Century American History by Kelley K rueger Reviewing Rough Draft – Tone What is the most interesting or provocative point this essay is making? Is it specific or narrow enough? Is i t clear why the wri ter is making this point? “Many people don’t think of how much music brightens and amplifies everyday things, such as movies”. This is fairly specific. The wri ter is showing how music influences everyday life. What is the “least” interesting, cliché, or vague example or description? How could the w r iter make it more interesting? “There were a few major tu rning points in music history during the century”. This is a vague statement. The wr iter should expand on this and explain what the tu rning points were. At what point in the essay, does the essay sound the most professional or intellectual? What words or arguments, or sentence structures create this tone? “Artists of the 1960s attempted to reflect upon the events of the t ime- civil r ights, the g rowing unrest over the war in Vietnam, and the r ise of feminism- with their music.” At what point does the essay sound the least professional or intellectual? What is the cause of this lack of professional tone? “There were a few major tu rning points in music history during the century.” This is vague and is an unsupported sentence. W hat questions do you hope the second half of the paper answers? I would like to see the paper talk more on how history was in fluenced by music. Reviewed by: William Lohse M usic and its In f luence on 20th Century American History by Kelley K rueger What other topics, examples, or issues should this paper discuss? How is history remembered through music? Reviewed by: William Lohse ...
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- Fall '10