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COM 220 ROUGH DRAFT REVISED - received the same feedback...

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Com 220 Bernal There was a great amount of useful information between my instructor, peer, and from the center of writing excellence. The center for writing excellence made very detailed suggestions of ways to improve my research paper. Some of the suggestions included ways to keep my paper in the right person. It also provided some helpful tips on some minor grammatical and spelling errors. I was also made aware of a few sentences that could have been worded better and some sub words to replace a few that are immature. My peer reviewer stated that I provided good counterarguments in my research paper. The peer reviewer suggested that I provide more visuals in my paper showing the US crime rates compared to other countries crime rates. This would be a better way to show the audience the percentages in a way they can understand. I
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Unformatted text preview: received the same feedback from my instructor as I did from my peer reviewer concerning the introduction of the paper. It was said to be unclear. With the suggestion, I can revise the introduction to be less unclear and make it tidier. The peer reviewer suggested I start with explaining the sentence versus opening straight with a sentence from a blog. My instructor informed me of errors I made with proper citation. She had suggested I review the APA format. She also noted that some of my statements were controversial and suggested that I make it tidier. I will most likely use all of the feedback that I was provided because I do not think any of the suggestions were unjust....
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