Journal - I am sitting alone in my house for the first time...

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I am sitting alone in my house for the first time all summer. What am I doing? I am watching The Proposal—a truly mind-numbing romantic comedy. Yes. I am so happy right now. I really am a pathetic human being. I masquerade as a cynic while I read these Romance novels and watch these romantic comedies in a vain hope that maybe there’ll be someone out there to prove me wrong, and I’ll stop being cynical and hating the world and all the men in it. And as I watch Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock having at each other on my Samsung flat screen, jealousy, rage, envy, and all those other colorful emotions rush through my system. I hate chick flicks. What is so wrong with being a strong and independent woman? Why do women need some sort of male validation in life? I cannot lie; I want some affection. Is that so much to ask for, just a hug here and there? Some freaking snuggling. Goddamn. I know I am not repulsive because I have to beat these weirdoes of with a stick sometimes. I do not understand how Brandon Turner thinks it is ok to ask me every few weeks if I want to hook up with him. No. Just leave me alone because no matter how many times you ask me I am still probably not going to want your tongue down my throat. I bring it on myself sometimes. I like to play with these silly boys emotions because it gives me some weird thrill to dish it out as opposed to receiving the pain for once. Jake Schalles’s persistence is my fault, and I know it. I almost went out to his house at 11:40 PM, which was empty and filled with alcohol. Totally, my fault, and I should not complain about him. Every so often, I get normal people who tend to notice the fact that I do not and will never want to date them. Jim Davin was nice, but I was not interested. Now I cannot join the radio station for fear that I may give him the wrong idea. Stupid, no? Mike McCarthy I just rather avoided going to visit him in his room. Z will be a problem that I will deal with later. I really do not think about John anymore or Andrew. Same with Jack Morado or Tank Ellwood or Peter Roemer. While their compliments are flattering, I would just like to be friends, but that is obviously impossible. Therefore, I avoid them as if I avoid most problems like these. I know I should be grateful and flattered by the attention, but there comes a point when enough is
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Journal - I am sitting alone in my house for the first time...

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