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Unformatted text preview: • Points are subtracted for errors in grammar (comma splices, fragments, fused sentences, agreement, etc.) and spelling. 21/2 5 TOTAL 93/10 GRADE: A COMMENT: Lauren, This paper takes an original approach to depicting a “character.” Instead of focusing exclusively on your own memories, you present your grandfather through the eyes of many different characters (your mother, your grandmother, the people at his funeral etc.) The treatment is fresh and appropriate. The paper is somewhat loosely organized. It is very appropriate that you begin at the end and both the introduction and conclusion are effective. However, the body of the paper does not always follow a logical progression. The language is authentic and appropriate for the most part. A few clichés have crept into your otherwise fresh style (this often happens when we write about topics that are difficult to verbalize such as the death of a loved one). Well done!...
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- Spring '08
- coherent, central point, LAUREN CROSBY, LAUREN CROSBY CONTENT/INFORMATION