5 Lauren Crosby SAP1G (1)

5 Lauren Crosby SAP1G (1) - (comma splices, fragments,...

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NAME: LAUREN CROSBY CONTENT/INFORMATION The paper has a thesis—a single, central point that is interesting, original, striking and substantial. The central idea is developed through well-chosen, appropriate, concrete details that show originality and freshness. Author shows rather than merely tells. 45/50 ORGANISATION/STRUCTURE The paper is organized and well structured (there is a beginning, a body, and a conclusion). The paper exhibits a clear pattern of development (chronological order, spatial order, comparison/contrast, etc.). Paper does not digress from central point. Transitions help the paper flow smoothly. Paragraphs are organized, unified and coherent. Introductory paragraph(s) is (are) interesting and appropriate. Concluding paragraph is satisfying. 25/2 5 STYLE/GRAMMAR/SPELLING Sentences show variety of pattern and are rhetorically effective. Words are appropriate and well chosen. Writer seems to be speaking in an authentic voice. Points are subtracted for errors in grammar
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Unformatted text preview: (comma splices, fragments, fused sentences, agreement, etc.) and spelling. 24/2 5 TOTAL 94/10 GRADE: A COMMENT: Lauren, This is a very successful genre letter. It illustrates how a particular form of writing (in this case the cover letter) can be autobiographical. Content: Your paper presents a coherent thesis. The strongest moments in the paper come in the form of appropriate, concrete details (for e.g. watching the sports channel as a kid). A few more of such evocative examples would have further strengthened the paper. Structure: The paper does a very thorough job of following the structure of a cover letter. It is coherent, clear and focused. There are no digressions from the central point. The transitions are successful, as are the introduction and conclusion. Mechanics: There are a few mechanical errors that I have corrected on the paper itself. Well done! (And I hope you get the internship! You certainly deserve it!)...
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5 Lauren Crosby SAP1G (1) - (comma splices, fragments,...

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