dear edward

dear edward - he does have the power to give him this...

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Dear Edward, This story struck as a curious mixture of Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, and National Treasure. It was an interesting piece, and as I love science fiction I really did enjoy it. There were some grammatical mistakes and it could definitely use another proofread or two, but it was an enjoyable and relaxing piece that reminded me of cinema. Temple of the Moon is about a man who has come to some ancient and seemingly haunted island to uncover some sort of treasure or truth. The first page is a lengthy description of the temple and its surroundings, creating the eerie and fantastical setting that is needed for this story. There is a god-like voice that speaks to him from somewhere in the temple, asking him why he has come here. He responds that he has come to uncover the ultimate truths of the universe. The voice responds that although
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Unformatted text preview: he does have the power to give him this knowledge, it is not for him or any other human being to possess. The man then wakes up in his bed covered in a cold sweat. He realizes that it was just a dream, and he wonders where it came from. This story seems too unoriginal and too manufactured. We have seen this plot in almost every movie and in millions of books. There was hardly any creative aspect to it, and although we are told the story from a first person point of view, we have no clue who our main character is and have no information on him. Additionally, there were a few spelling and grammatical mistakes that definitely need to be fixed. I would say this story is a good start, but it needs some more work and more of a character structure as well as a plot structure. Thanks, Erica Broome...
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dear edward - he does have the power to give him this...

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