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loris revised draft

loris revised draft - Samantha Snyder Final Project Draft...

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Samantha Snyder Final Project Draft My original plan was to observe patrons coming and going while I was to be seated in the courtyard located between the restaurant Laughing Planet, the coffeehouse Soma, and the clothing store Cactus Flower. This area is located directly on a corner of Kirkwood Road in downtown Bloomington, at the heart of Indiana University. I wanted to sit outside at these picnic tables and observe the customers of these three places. Due to poor weather circumstances, on the day of my observation I was unable to sit outside. I chose to sit inside of Laughing Planet, thinking that this restaurant would have the most customers out of the three on this rainy day.
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Laughing Planet has a really casual atmosphere. Customers walk in, look at the menu clad in chalkboard-style writing, order their food, and wait for their name to be called. Employees here don’t have any type of uniform, so there aren’t really any cues to tell a server from a customer other than seeing them behind the counter or hearing them call your name when your food is ready. The restaurant is vegan and celiac friendly offering vegan cheese, sour cream, and gluten-free tortillas in their Mexican-style dishes. Most of the food that is available is organic, or as close to organic as they can get. Rather than serving food in paper or aluminum tins like other similar restaurants, Laughing Planet makes an attempt at being eco-friendly by serving their dishes in actual dishes that customers later bus themselves to a designated area to be cleaned, recycled, and reused. Laughing Planet is not your average Chipotle or Qdoba-like Mexican fast-food chain. This café is not a part of any franchise and has a certain type of home-y feel to itGood job talking about the ideology associated with the restaurant. You’ll need to explain what you mean by this when you first introduce the term. Nice observation. Give us an example. What do you think this communicates? Does it demonstrate the values this community shares? Explain what you mean by this. Explain. Not an entirely accurate interpretation but you’re on the right track. This is more accurate. Adjusting one’s behavior and appearance to manage the impression one makes on others. You have an excellent start here! As you revise try to focus on doing the following: 1) Open with an introductory paragraph that briefly describes the occasion and includes a thesis statement. It looks like you’re interested in describing the ‘hipster’ look and what this communicates. If this is the case, state this clearly. 2) You do a good job relating the readings to your data. There’s still plenty of room to go a bit deeper with your analysis. 3) Try to relate what you observed to larger cultural practices. What have we read, for example, about ‘marginal’ groups who don’t participate in the mainstream? Good job!
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loris revised draft - Samantha Snyder Final Project Draft...

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