response - great job and just needs continue to expand his...

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Jamie Goode January 30, 2011 Josh Schwartz After reading Josh’s personal essay, I thought that he had truly captured the meaning of this essay. While reading his piece it was not only easy to understand the point of his essay that he was trying to get across but I feel that he has done a good job at capturing his voice as well. He has a very strong voice that is heard throughout his essay and he has done a great job at allowing his voice to be heard in a creative way. He used creative language while continuing to get his point across. His word choice was creative and allowed the reader to easily see exactly what he was talking about. As I read what he wrote, I could see the MoJo dining hall and the way that he described it. He used great detail to describe this location and also went on to write about several different times in the past. Although I have made a few corrections I have made on Josh’s paper, I think he has done a
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Unformatted text preview: great job and just needs continue to expand his idea. Laura Groden After reading Laura’s essay, I thought that she had done a very good job capturing the personal essay. She found her voice though making jokes about her own OCD and having to always have everything perfect. Laura wrote about her different cleaning habits and made the essay flow better together by making jokes at her own expense and allowing the reader the laugh with her as well. She did a very good job not only finding her voice but also used thoughtful word choice to make her piece more interesting and relatable. She used humor to make jokes about her OCD and about her interesting cleaning habits but she also was able to be more serious and talk about the effects that her condition has had on her life and on her family. The way that Laura wrote her personal was very well and I think she has done a very good job....
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