5-Rapport FINAL

5-Rapport FINAL - RAPPORT 1 Establishing the Conversational...

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Unformatted text preview: RAPPORT 1. Establishing the Conversational Framework 2. Active Listening 3. Showing Empathy 4. Captioning 5. Using her Trance Words 6. Verbally Pacing her Reality 7. Demonstrating Cool Vulnerability 8. Using Indirect Complements 9. Dealing with Awkward Silences 10.Using Cold Reading Techniques 11.Matching and Mirroring 12.Potential Problems in Rapport-Building 13.Phase-Shifting to Amplify After opening, attracting, and qualifying the girl, the next step is to develop RAPPORT with her. Rapport is a sense of connection and understanding with another person. This connection comes from a bond of commonality. In other words, when people are like each other, they tend to LIKE each other. Developing rapport in a pick-up or seduction is important. If all you do is just attract and qualify a woman, she’ll like you, but she won’t feel a connection to you. As soon as you’re not around she’ll go out of state and the effect you created will drop back to zero. If you want a LASTING connection, or enough of one that she remembers you when you call, you need to develop some rapport. You want the woman to be thinking “He’s just like me” or “We have so much in common” or “He understands me”. Also, rapport builds COMFORT. Comfort is essential to getting a woman to give you her phone number, a kiss, or a wild night of furniture-destroying sex. A woman generally needs to feel comfortable with you (at different levels of course) before she’ll do any of these things. Guys who have trouble getting women are usually very good at building rapport, but not very good at generating attraction. “Nice guys” and their rapport-building expertise are good at instilling COMFORT in a woman, and that’s why she views them as “just friends”. They’re all comfort, no attraction. In basic terms: All rapport + no attraction gets you slotted in the “friends” category. All attraction + no rapport gets you slotted in the “lover” or “one-night stand” category (IF the woman even has that category at all; she may NEED rapport before having sex). Or if you’re in a bar or club she may just see her being into you as a “club thing”. A combination of both attraction + rapport has the woman seeing you as a potential boyfriend, which gives you more power and more options on where you want to take things. Therefore I personally recommend that guys build at least a small level of rapport with a woman they’re interested in—after attracting her....
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This note was uploaded on 02/27/2011 for the course MAT 210 taught by Professor Hui during the Spring '11 term at SUNY Stony Brook.

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5-Rapport FINAL - RAPPORT 1 Establishing the Conversational...

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