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week 9 assignment 2

week 9 assignment 2 - would’ve said “My Aunt Martha...

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I chose to read paragraphs one and five and I think paragraph five was more effective because there is less repetition and longer sentences rather than several short sentences . In paragraph one, a lot of the sentences could’ve be combined to create longer sentences and less repetition, which would’ve made paragraph one better than paragraph five, if this was done. I also believe some of the punctuation is wrong, like where it says “My Aunt Martha went to a lawyer to get a will, I did my will online,” I
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Unformatted text preview: would’ve said “My Aunt Martha went to a lawyer to get a will while I did mine online.” As in paragraph five, the first sentence and last sentence is repeated, which I think could have been avoided, and in the paragraph it says “needs to go the doctor,” which needs to be changed to “needs to go to the doctor.” Also in paragraph five, I think the “or something” could’ve been left out and a few of those sentences could’ve been combined as well....
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