Essay #4 profile essay

Essay #4 profile essay - V erina Atalla Octavia Davis Cover...

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Verina Atalla November 10, 2009 Octavia Davis Cover Letter I enjoyed the research part of this essay because it gave me a better understanding of who Yousry really is. He really showed me how coming from a strict family and living in a bad area and being successful now can really happen. I feel like my introduction was well written but after that, I started to be very abrupt because I didn’t know HOW I should portray the detail that I have. I feel like the ending is very abrupt but I didn’t know what to do to fix this. Can you please help me with this? Also, I need to work on my transitions from one paragraph to another. My idea of portraying the city and the religion shows how much struggle he went through throughout his life because he went through a lot and that makes me appreciate him even more.
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Verina Atalla November 10, 2009 Octavia Davis English 1030C Yousry Macksoud 1968 was a time of ethnic and social growth in Brooklyn where houses and neighborhoods were being renovated, and businesses were blossoming. Although Brooklyn was in its transitional phase, people were not hesitant to raise families in this environment. During this very year, on November 24, the Macksoud Family celebrated as a new member was added to their household. Yousry Macksoud, a baby
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Essay #4 profile essay - V erina Atalla Octavia Davis Cover...

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