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Unformatted text preview: Far far away, in the land of Catville, there was a yummy tomato. His name was Lettuce. His main diet was made up of Chocolate and Trix yogurt. His husband's name was Alberto. His brother was a disgusting and filthy lettuce called Tomato. They were at war against a talking lamp called Adam Lambert and his husband, a pickle called Goofy. The war was because Adam Lambert refused to express his beautiful vocals at their neighborhood watch meetings. So one day, the lettuce called Tomato got a piece of his brother and threw it at Adam. Adam and the pickle somehow had two children: two girls called Meg and Euge. Meg was a stripping pole and Euge was a pimple. The girls always fought because Meg liked the lettuce named Tomato better but Euge liked the tomato named Lettuce better.So the war continued, and after years passed, the two families made a treaty. They decided to marry the two girls to the lettuce and the tomato. However, one day the tomato called Lettuce fell in love with an armadillo named Ian. But Ian didn't love Lettuce, he loved a manwhore called Cris. Oh, how Cris LOVED to eat zizis! One day, Euge found out that Lettuce liked Ian and decided to eat him. She secretly killed him in a dark alley and served him for dinner. The tomato named Lettuce never had a clue that he was eating the one he loved. That is, until the next day when he got a strange case of diarrhea and pooped Ian's head out. While in the toilet, out of Ian's head came a grasshopper named Andy. After 2 seconds of masterbating, Andy gave birth to a cockatiel named Astrid. All this was happening in the toilet, as Lettuce the tomato watched in amazement. Now Astrid the cockatiel was a virgin, and somehow, by a miracle, gave birth to the tiniest tiny cat in Catville, named Kat. Kat was so small that Lettuce only saw her and didn't flush the toilet when he heard a tiny noise screaming "Cuckoo, Cuckoo!" He grabbed a magnifying glass and saw Kat dancing around. He decided to keep her as a pet. One day at a club, there was and saw Kat dancing around....
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This note was uploaded on 03/21/2011 for the course ENGLISH 103 taught by Professor Gonzalez during the Spring '11 term at New England College.
- Spring '11