response to Jen's term paper

response to Jen's term paper - paragraph until the other...

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Matt Schillizzi Response to Jen’s Paper 28 October 2009 Individualism v Conformity The paper is very well put together. Great ideas were explained and valid quotes were recognized to support your argument. The author has great proof and is very successful with tying it in with her argument to Emerson’s words. I would say that this paper is thought out in a good manner in total, but if any changes should be considered, it is the following: The introductory paragraph brings in a good topic of how Emerson distinguishes between his desires of an individual and the individual that society unconsciously creates. Following this paragraph, the bulk of the paper was focused on Emerson’s views of what a scholar should be like, not so much on what the scholar tends to be. It was not until the fourth
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Unformatted text preview: paragraph until the other half of the argument was mentioned. The first three paragraphs are focused on the interpretation of Emerson’s text (which is very thorough), but not much was mentioned about the conformity in America. Contrarily, the more the paper progressed, the more satisfied the thesis became. Also, this paper could be dedicated to Emerson; there is minimal voice coming from the author herself. Just as a suggestion, it could have made more of a modern impact if ideas were brought into the argument relating to today’s world and hearing some of the author’s opinions. This did appear further in the text, but it would have been good to see it all along. But overall, this paper really speaks in a strong voice and clearly shows knowledge and organization....
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response to Jen's term paper - paragraph until the other...

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