fam Let It End with Me

fam Let It End with Me - Let It End with Me, Ensign, Sep...

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“Let It End with Me,” Ensign , Sep 2001, 61 After an abusive upbringing, I was determined to stop the cycle of humiliation and violence. When I was a child, our home was a battleground, rarely safe, rarely peaceful. Our family’s daily interpersonal communication consisted mostly of ridicule, sarcasm, and criticism. Approval and warm feelings for each other were nonexistent, as were words of courtesy and apology. We did not listen or have discussions. Instead, we became proficient in arguing, fighting, name-calling, accusing, and faultfinding. Looking back, I see that our family appeared healthy on the outside. Our parents served in Church callings, and we children were well-behaved and knowledgeable. The rest of the world saw accomplished scholars, talented musicians, and capable artists. They did not know that each of us felt isolated and worthless. They could not see the shame and embarrassment our parents felt because we were not perfect. I never even considered telling anyone about our treatment at home, even when my mother dislocated my jaw by hitting me. In our home, family prayers, family home evenings, and Church activity coexisted with physical violence and emotional battering. Upon arriving home from church, it was common for everyone from oldest to youngest to receive a sound thrashing. How could a family live such a paradox? Changes Begin Despite my difficult upbringing, I had a testimony and made it my goal to rear a righteous family in the gospel. As a young wife and mother, I diligently did everything I knew to reach my goal, but it was difficult. Something was missing. I often found myself feeling impatient and critical toward my husband and children. It seemed I could never remember in time to stop my harsh words or refrain from
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This note was uploaded on 04/07/2011 for the course SFL 160 taught by Professor Brianwilloughby during the Winter '11 term at BYU.

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fam Let It End with Me - Let It End with Me, Ensign, Sep...

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