revision exercise

revision exercise - English R1b 9 Poetry GSI Simon Revision...

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English R1b 9 3/15/06 Poetry GSI Simon Revision Exercise Listing 1. The information contained in the following sentences could be better conveyed in a list. Rewrite each sentence in the form of a list. a. The causes of burnout can be studied from three perspectives: physiological - the roles of sleep, diet, and physical fatigue; psychological - the roles of guilt, fear, jealousy, and frustration; environmental - the role of the physical surroundings at home and at work. b. There are many problems with the online registration system used at Dickerson University. First, lists of closed sections cannot be updated as often as necessary. Second, students who want to register in a closed section must be assigned to a special terminal. Third, the computer staff is not trained to handle student problems. Fourth, the Computer Center's own terminals cannot be used on the system; therefore, the university has to rent 15 extra terminals to handle registration. Emphasis 3. In the following sentences, determine whether the new or important information is emphasized appropriately. If it is not, revise the sentence. a. Asynchronous transmission mode is likely to become the dominant communication mode over the next few years. b. Multimedia interfaces are most successful when they are designed by engineers, computer scientists, psychologists, and applications experts, all working together. c. The program must be carefully designed if it is to succeed. 4. In the following sentences, the real subjects are buried in prepositional phrases or obscured by expletives. Revise the sentences so that the real subjects appear prominently. a. There has been a decrease in the number of students enrolled in our training sessions. b. It is on the basis of recent research that I recommend the new CAD system. c. The use of in-store demonstrations has resulted in a dramatic increase in business. 4. In the following sentences, unnecessary nominalization obscures the real verb. Revise the sentences to focus on the real verb. a. Pollution constitutes a threat to the Wilson Wildlife Preserve. b. Evaluation of the gumming tendency of the four tire types will be accomplished by comparing the amount of rubber that can be scraped from the tires. c. Reduction of the size of the tear-gas generator has already been completed. Length 4. The following sentences might be too long for some readers. Break each sentence into two or more sentences. a. If we get the contract, we must be ready by June 1 with the necessary personnel and equipment to get the job done, so with this in mind a staff meeting, which all group managers are expected to attend, is scheduled for February 12. b. Once we get the results of the stress tests on the 125-Z fiberglass mix, we will have a better idea of where we stand in terms of our time constraints, because if the mix isn't suitable we will really have to hurry to find and test a replacement by the Phase 1 deadline. c.
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This note was uploaded on 04/08/2011 for the course ENG 101 taught by Professor Cruise during the Winter '10 term at Brock University.

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revision exercise - English R1b 9 Poetry GSI Simon Revision...

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