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Unformatted text preview: but where is your proof? Since this is a persuasive essay it is important that you show data and evidence to make your argument more creditable. But your off to a great start! Janie Park Peer Review- Protect your skin I think you have a great topic but you still need to develop your paragraphs. Your outline is very organized and I feel youre on to a great start. But you dont really have anything written and I am supposed to write 2 paragraphs in response. What you have here is more of an outline of your essay and it is not really a rough draft. But the points you make are on point so once you develop on these ideas I feel you will have a stronger essay. But youre off to a great beginning....
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- Spring '08