prego - but where is your proof Since this is a persuasive...

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Janie Park Peer Review teen prego Young teenagers who are pregnant at a young age provoke many problems and disadvantages that lead to lower of education, income and social life. They provoke many problems? Maybe find a better word for provoke. .maybe Teens who are pregnant at a young age are more vulnerable to problems and disadvantages that lead to lower education. . In your first paragraph when you discuss how young mothers have to repeat classes, where are you getting this information from? You should go online and look for articles that show statistics of this claim. You make very good points in this essay and you use pathos very well but you lack logos which I think is statistical data. You make many claims such as young mothers will end up working in fast food restaurants
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Unformatted text preview: but where is your proof? Since this is a persuasive essay it is important that you show data and evidence to make your argument more creditable. But your off to a great start! Janie Park Peer Review- Protect your skin I think you have a great topic but you still need to develop your paragraphs. Your outline is very organized and I feel you’re on to a great start. But you don’t really have anything written and I am supposed to write 2 paragraphs in response. What you have here is more of an outline of your essay and it is not really a rough draft. But the points you make are on point so once you develop on these ideas I feel you will have a stronger essay. But you’re off to a great beginning....
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This note was uploaded on 04/09/2011 for the course UWP 001 taught by Professor Pufahl during the Spring '08 term at UC Davis.

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