Unformatted text preview: have put more emphasis on what connections each writer makes i.e. the gap between ideal and reality and how to solve the gap. Second correction that I have made was the grammatical mistakes. Because I am a foreign student who lived a whole life in foreign country, I totally depended my grammatical revision on the native speaker peer who proofread my essay. Referring and following on her comments, I have polished my essay to include proper grammar, i.e. articles, phrases, clauses, sentence variations, etc. Therefore I mainly made a revision for two of these categories. I feel I did as much as I could do, and this is my best work. I only wish my reader to judge it, and whether he or she is negative or positive toward it is of no matter to me....
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- Spring '11
- Writing, Hae Dong Yoo, Dear Professor Parmiter, Professor Parmiter Writing