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comp 156 week 5 - After reviewing Appendix C there were a...

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After reviewing Appendix C there were a few changes that I would have made if I were writing the paper. In the introduction paragraph I would state who is calling the film the most popular film of 2008. Giving more detail to who is claiming this will enhance the effect. Also in the second paragraph the sentences are very wordy. He goes from talking about the differences of the two films to talking about Heath Ledger and his awards. I would leave out the part about the awards. We do not want to confuse the reader about what the paper is about. Going into more detail about the differences between the comic book and the film would have been good too. For one, it will help with the length of the paper and also let the reader understand what it is that makes the film better. I would also talk more about the differences between the new Batman movies and the older ones. We want the reader to understand just how much better the new films are. Giving more examples would also help the reader understand better. I
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