Final Assignment - T he cor rected version of the paragraph...

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The corrected version of the paragraph submitted to WritePoint. I read the two paragraphs pertaining to personal use of credit cards. The first paragraph was very well constructed. When reading it I easily understood why people sometimes have trouble getting credit. This is in contrast to the second paragraph which was not so well understandable. In the first paragraph background information was given on what makes a person credit worthy or not. It was also clearly stated that individuals with bad credit should fix the situation. Reasons for this were quoted from the Fair Credit Reporting Act. The author used variety when constructing sentences. Also the sentences efficiently address the problem of credit. The paragraph, when written this way was very interesting and understandable despite the fact that there was repetitive use of the word “individuals” and that there were several grammatical errors. The second paragraph, on the other hand, begins well but then quickly disintegrates into confusion. No information was given to
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Final Assignment - T he cor rected version of the paragraph...

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