Handout--Revision_Packet--2011

Handout--Revision_Packet--2011 - Jones ENGL Deep Revision 1...

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Jones / ENGL / Deep Revision 1 Deep Revision Checklist Directions : Do all of the following to your paper before you turn in the final draft. I will compare draft 1 and 2 and grade you on how well you completed the following difficult but worthy tasks. 1. Style: Apply style sheet to 1-2 paragraphs 2. Active Prose: Use active prose. Find “characters” in your sentences. Put them first and make them active. “Who” does “what”? 3. Death of “To Be” : Apply “Death of ‘To Be’” to half a page (-1 for each to be verb: is, are, to be, am). 4. Thesis : Improve thesis using 9 forms. 5. Hook : Think up a completely new hook and make it convincing (I will grade both). Types: story, quote, surprising fact, interesting character , etc. Must have tension. 6. Topic Sentences : Read each paragraph. Write the main point of each body paragraph (not intro or conclusion). Put this “topic sentence” at the beginning of the paragraph. (-5 for every one that is same as first draft) 7. Old/New : Apply old/new contract to all paragraphs. (Only break it if you have a good reason and can explain this reason.) 8. For Example: Use “for example” somewhere in your paper. And then add a good example. 9. High Diction/ Low Diction : (Ain’t so/Is not). Try moving between technical language and simple language to move reader. Using “In other words…” might help here. 10. Analogy : Use an analogy after a complex section of your paper. For example, you have just written an in-depth explanation of how doing a deep revision will develop your writing and your mind. Now compare it to something: a. Deep revision is like yoga. The more you work out your muscles, the stronger they get. However, yoga does not just increase strength, it also increases flexibility. Deep revision does this also by building a mind able to bend and wrap itself around very difficult concepts. b. Deep revision is like deep sea fishing…(Make a surprising connection and we will want to hear your explanation—fishing, waiting, pondering, getting a bite. It could work as a way to view revision perhaps.)
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Jones / ENGL / Deep Revision 2 Thesis Handout Thesis + Tension = “Interesting” Nine Thesis Forms: 1. Make it arguable. 2. Make an argument by comparing/contrasting two ideas. 3. Make it clear that this is new/unexpected/surprising. 4. Use “although” to find a conflict. 5. Take a central word/idea and define it in a new way. 6. Propose a solution to a problem. 7. Use a counterargument. 8. Make it clear that you are trying to change the way we think. 9. Make it more specific. Example: Beginning thesis: I like dogs. I applied above forms (by number) to this simple thesis. 1. People who like dogs are superior to people who like cats. (Cat lovers want to argue) 2. While dog lovers are superior to cat lovers (contrast), both misunderstand animal rights (contrast). 3.
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Handout--Revision_Packet--2011 - Jones ENGL Deep Revision 1...

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