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descriptive_moment_show_v_tell - My little boy was hurt...

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Tell: Cam cut his forehead open when he was playing on the jungle gym—playing tag!—on the frozen set of bars. He slipped and crashed all the way to the hard pavement, and he had to have stitches in the emergency room. I wished I were home when they called so I would have picked him up in the nurse’s office, instead of my neighbor Nancy. Sometimes I was working at the worst moments. Show: I drove into the parking lot at the Montessori school scanning for Nancy’s car. Where was she? I saw her van sitting by the door and bolted for it, trying to see inside the window on the passenger side. Cam sat with his cheek on his hand and an ugly red line beneath a bandage at the center of his forehead. His cheeks were pink and the minute our eyes met, his eyes filled with tears. I reached for the door handle.
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“Cam, are you okay, buddy?” I tried to seem calm, but I was thinking in fast bursts— emergency room—doctors—stitches—scarring.
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Unformatted text preview: My little boy was hurt. “I have to get Hannah and then we’ll go to the hospital, okay?” I asked. Cam’s lower lip quivered and as he blinked a tear fell, running slowing down his cheek. “I’m sorry, sweetie, I’m sorry you’re hurt, but we’ll take care of it.” Cam didn’t say anything but he nodded. They cut a hole in the cloth so only the cut was visible. The rest of the cloth covered his face. I held one hand and his dad held the other. The doctor worked on stitches, sewing in big loops, then pulling them closed . . . How is the showing example different from the telling example? Showing details: • Imagery (appeal to all the senses, not just sight) • Dialogue (let the people speak for themselves!) • Feelings/emotions (don’t say I was sad— show us sad) • Perspective/Voice (get the reader to see it through your perspective—make it sound like you) • Language that mirrors feelings/emotions...
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descriptive_moment_show_v_tell - My little boy was hurt...

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