Peer Critique Memo1

Peer Critique Memo1 - essay and if the ideas had been split...

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Peer Critique Memo by Cameron Short The main ideas of Thoreau’s work were addressed well. These ideas included the themes that petty pleasures are not permanent, people should live without regret, people are over concerned with the small things, and one should take a step back and enjoy life. These ideas were the foundation for the piece but I feel like the ideas were not supported well enough with the devices used in the piece. There were quotes from the passage in the essay but the devices were not talked about thoroughly. The tone of the essay was very involved and knowledgeable. The words used were complex and descriptive of the passage. However, I felt like some of the words were used just as padding and main ideas could have been explained better if these words were excluded. There was no definite organization in the
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Unformatted text preview: essay and if the ideas had been split up better, the overall message of the essay could have been much more effective. Some of the diction of the essay was hard to understand and follow. While the diction should not be extremely simple, I feel as though the audience at hand was not taken into consideration. There were no serious mechanical issues except that of organization as previously stated. However, there were a lot of phrases used such as day in and day out, latest and greatest, and hustle and bustle that should not have been used as frequently and maybe not even at all. These phrases have been overused and should not be used in essays because they turn the reader off from the essay. These phrases are distractions to the reader and weaken the overall argument of the essay....
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Peer Critique Memo1 - essay and if the ideas had been split...

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