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Unformatted text preview: essay and if the ideas had been split up better, the overall message of the essay could have been much more effective. Some of the diction of the essay was hard to understand and follow. While the diction should not be extremely simple, I feel as though the audience at hand was not taken into consideration. There were no serious mechanical issues except that of organization as previously stated. However, there were a lot of phrases used such as day in and day out, latest and greatest, and hustle and bustle that should not have been used as frequently and maybe not even at all. These phrases have been overused and should not be used in essays because they turn the reader off from the essay. These phrases are distractions to the reader and weaken the overall argument of the essay....
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- Spring '11