Peer Critique Memo3

Peer Critique Memo3 - Cameron Short 1 Peer Critique Memo 3...

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Cameron Short 1 Peer Critique Memo 3 Liz Yochem wrote her third essay of English 101 on Sherman Alexie’s piece, What You Pawn I Will Redeem. She exhibited the main ideas of the essay well. These main ideas include the appearances of Indians, traditions, and rituals. Through these ideas and historical connections, Liz links the meanings and culture to show to the reader how these aspects are important to Alexie’s work. The only thing that needs to be worked on pertaining to the main ideas of the essay is the introduction paragraph. The introduction paragraph could be stronger to help the reader better pin-point the main ideas of the essay. This paragraph is confusing based on the sentence structure. If this was fixed the introduction paragraph and the essay as a whole would be more effective. The style of the essay could be enhanced to make the essay more successful. The tone could be changed to fit the audience. The diction is not as involved as it should be when aiming towards a college audience. For example, the sentence, “Jackson is jealous of Junior because
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Peer Critique Memo3 - Cameron Short 1 Peer Critique Memo 3...

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