week8 assignment COM150

Week8 assignment - that there were some grammar and punctuation errors to correct I will incorporate all of this feedback into my paper by changing

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Running head: INCORPORATING FEEDBACK 1 Incorporating feedback Kelli Lorenc COM/150 March 20, 2011 Nanda Tewari
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INCORPORATING FEEDBACK 2 Incorporating feedback The feedback I received from my instructor was that I needed to break my first paragraph up into two separate paragraphs. I organized my point well but I need to add more analysis; I was also informed that it is inappropriate to use ‘you’ and ‘your’ because it can make an essay sound to casual. My Peer reviewer informed me that some of my sentences didn’t flow right together, were unclear and/or didn’t fit with my main point. They also suggested that I ass more details about tattoo removal. When I submitted my paper to the center of writing excellence I noticed
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Unformatted text preview: that there were some grammar and punctuation errors to correct. I will incorporate all of this feedback into my paper by changing the “you” and “yours” within my papers to “individual” and “individuals” I will fix any and all sentences that are unclear or don’t flow right. Furthermore, I will add more details where needed and fix my grammar and punctuation. This feedback has improved my expeditionary essay because it has allowed me to not only make it better but also fix the problems I hadn’t seen. I will use all the feedback provided to me because it was all useful and helpful. I didn’t find any feedback to be incorrect or over the top....
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This note was uploaded on 05/20/2011 for the course COM 150 taught by Professor Johannahvanatta during the Spring '08 term at University of Phoenix.

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Week8 assignment - that there were some grammar and punctuation errors to correct I will incorporate all of this feedback into my paper by changing

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