Race_and_Your_Community[1]

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Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. Thank you for using WritePoint. Race and Your [Eliminate second person (you, your) in academic documents and avoid addressing the reader Loretta Campbell 04/09/2011
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directly. Use third-person pronouns (he, she, it, they)] Community Loretta Campbell Cultural Diversity Elizabeth Sherrell-Smith April 10, 2011 [Make sure paragraph indentation is five to seven spaces or one tab stop] I believe [Avoid use of the first person (I, me, my) in academic writing unless writing about a personal experience. Check first person use with your instructor. ] that race and ethnicity is an important aspect of who you [This appears to require the dative pronoun: whom] [second person] as an individual. Most people know about their ethnicity because their parents make sure that they explain it to them and they grow up practicing it. However, not all families have a mother and father in the same household that can show them [Check pronoun agreement--if "them" refers to "mother" (or a singular subject), it should be singular, too (him or her)] family values when it comes to [Writing suggestion--Since "it" is undefined, "when it comes to" often can be reduced to simply "concerning" ] race and ethnicity. My community is made [The passive voice is a form of "be" (is) and a participle (made). Over-use of the passive voice can make paragraphs officious and tedious to read. Try to use the active voice most often; for example, passive voice = The paper was completed on time. Active voice = the student completed the paper on time--See Center for Writing Excellence > Tutorials & Guides > Grammar & Writing Guides > Active & passive voice] up of different races and ethnicities and they all Loretta Campbell 04/09/2011
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[Run-on sentence: place comma before "and"] ["All" or "all of" used as an intensifier can very often be removed with no loss of meaning] play an important role in the community when it comes to [concerning] religion, culture, education, and income. We [Use "we," "us," or "our" to mean yourself and coauthors, not general humanity (or yourself and the reader)] are all ["All" or "all of" used as an intensifier can very often be removed with no loss of meaning] different when it comes to [concerning] race and skin color but we all ["All" or "all of" used as an intensifier can very often be removed with no loss of meaning] live in the same area and all want to maintain a safe living environment for our families. I currently reside in a community in Newark, Delaware
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This note was uploaded on 05/29/2011 for the course POS 110 taught by Professor Britt,j during the Spring '10 term at University of Phoenix.

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Race_and_Your_Community[1] - Welcome to WritePoint, the...

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